A day later and I haven't heard any from Billie. I pity myself thinking what kind of fool would go after me and beg me to make this work out even if seems so impossible. I know I was the one who ended things so abrupt that it had to be through a phone call. Maybe she really doesn't love me, she just love the idea of me being with her because she benefits from it and gets to be who she wants, she's created a safe place with me that it convinced her that what she has for me is love.
Damn, tell me why I am wondering this right now at four in the morning like I don't have an exam in my major class. I haven't even touched my books and glimpse through a single page. Tossing to my left side I stare at my clock, so much time has been wasted. "Okay fine!" I exclaimed out of exasperation. I can't be like this. Taking a deep breath, I got up, walk to the bathroom to cleanse my face waking up some sense in me.
It was later on I found myself at the park waiting for sunrise, the view from my apartment is better but that isn't where I want to be right now. There's too much agony in that place.
After some time the sun is in complete bloom and a lot of runners are passing by I decided to pick myself up and go home, get some food for my body and knowledge for my brain, I can't trust my stock knowledge, it'll fail me.
"Good morning, Waney." I said with a smile, he's an old man sitting by the huge door doing nothing but watch who comes in out of the building. Old people looks so contented with their life but I can the loneliness in his eyes, he's longing for a companion as other would. He smiled at me, "Nice shoes."
"They're thrifted. You like it? Maybe one of these days I'll take you to thrift stores if you'd like that, my treat of course!" A little kindness can grow big, I'll let it start with me.
"I am very delighted to your offer young lady." He's voice is so loving and soft, would have been what my grandfather sounded like if he was alive. I winked at him and proceeded to the cranky elevator. My mind is occupied as I am mentally listing down all the things I should do this day and counting it with my fingers, I heard the door slide open but did not perceive and boarded passenger until somebody greeted me from behind, "Good morning, (y/n)." What the fuck
"William. Good morning." I step further in the metal box contrary to what I have in my head. He steps in harbouring that sly smirk on his face. As the doors slowly closed it feels as if the air is polluted, I can't breathe. His presence feels so heavy my armpits are sweating.
I am not directly looking at him however I can sense that his staring and it seems normal for other's perspective but I think he's slaughtering my existence already. Shit, what do I do? What the fuck should I do?!
"Billie's in town. I picked her up at the airport last night. She's told me about the favour she asked from you. Thank you, (y/n)." The weight of his hand landed on my shoulder. "It's fine."
As soon as the doors are open I walk passed him, "Don't mean to be rude I just have an exam and I need to review. Good day, William!" fuck you I mutter in my mind. In fast pace I reach my apartment door and latched on the door knob, I halt as I remember I locked it but now it isn't. There's a cloud of doubt above my head, there's no way someone who have an interest to rob me. What the hell.
"Forgot your keys?" It William. I look to my side, flashing a smile "No, I think I just forgot to lock it." Let's hope your wife isn't in here.
"Sweetheart, you look marvellous!" why do I feel mocked? Rolling my eyes I released my breath as I opened the door, no is inside and it's all intact. I really must have forgotten to lock it.
It's strange, he's acting weird which is raising my anxiety level and my suspicions. The look he gave me, that is absolutely not normal, and did he just said that out loud so I could hear him? What if he knows?
"Don't be ridiculous." Is this my conscience beating me up for all the things Billie and I have done behind his back? "Whatever" I said to myself dropping all the arguments and thoughts in my head. I head to the bathroom stripped off my top and when I am about to pull my shorts down I feel the keys in my pocket. I paused to contemplate, I never left with the doors unlocked, not even once and having these in my pocket the whole time meant that I locked it...
Not being able to shrug it all off I run to my bedroom, hardly remembering how I have left it. I have this got feeling that something is wrong but I can't see it, my closet is tidy and my drawer looks untouched. I can't be losing my sanity. "The card!" I gasp, sprinting to my pillows and tossing them off the bed. Where's the damn card! At this point my heartbeat grows rapid. I stop myself seeing it is no use to panic and so I scan around without leaving my place. The joy was heartfelt when I saw it on the edge of my bedside table, how couldn't I see that before. How am I realizing only now that I am this stupid and dumb to be leaving valuable things lying around and forgetting about them.
That morning I didn't get to eat or even shower, I instantly get on with my plan of studying. Around one I left for school, at four on the dot, I finished my examination. Dismissal has come and I'm the first to bolt out of my seat and walk away, not bothering about the complaints after bumping into strangers. I am not confident with all my answers but I at least I did my best I actually followed the time rule. It's my only class for this day and so I have no other business with school anymore. I have never been this tired, with my limbs feeling so fragile and my back hurts like I am at my 80's.
Going home I take the shortest route to my apartment, I walked for at least fifteen minutes and when the building becomes visible to my sight, there were people swarming the entrance. What is going on? Having people this many is quite peculiar to be honest. As I take my steps slowly the small hairs on my nape stands. These are no ordinary people, they're fucking vultures. Oh my... they know where she lives now. Does this mean they know about us too? This is so scandalous! Oh shit...
I should back away the moment that idea pops in my head they all looked at my direction hurriedly picking up their cameras and it started to flash. My joints won't move. I feel paralyzed, it was like a dream where in everything goes slow and you can't move a muscle. The moment I recollect my senses I can hear them all scream for one name, "Mrs Howard! Look here please!"
There's Billie accompanied by Gery who's protecting her. There must be an absolute reason for these people to show up here. This never happened in the past months.
Our eyes meet for a second like a blinding light directly pouring on my eyes. It hurts but gives me a different comfort. I love her.
Just a short update. Hopefully I could do a regular update again at least once a week. Hope y'all like it plus here's a picture (of teenage Billie and William)
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