You're A Baby's Butt (StudxStud)

<Chapter 21>

<Munae's POV>
I laid in my bed at home. I asked Mrs. Davis not to bother me, and I told no one else to come in. I stared at the ceiling. I had never felt so much like myself and so faraway at the same time. I picked up my phone on the bed, then sat it back down. My body shivered randomly, then I relaxed again and closed my eyes. "Betty...obviously you don't see me in the same way, but please don't hate me."

Nobody answered back because no one was there. My phone buzzed. Mom. I went to my notes and checked to see if I was supposed to be in class right now. This time I wasn't fast enough and I had to call her back because the call dropped. "Hey Mom. I'm leaving class, what you up to?"

"Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to see how you enjoyed yesterday. Your siblings all said everyone was cordial."

"Oh yeah," I said blankly.

"Mom, finna go. I'll check in with you later."

"Oh...alright," she said, seeming surprised by the abrupt end of the conversation.

I hung up with a faint "I love you", and kicked my covers off. I guess today I could check out my college campus because why not? What was I, a freshman or a sophomore? Yeah, I'm probably a sophomore, I'm 19.

I got dressed casually and slipped my phone into my pocket. I gave Mrs. Davis a wave and decided to drive my brown Bentley with the black keys. I was going to give Betty time to talk to me, meanwhile, I'm going to get a taste for college life.

I arrived there at a pretty decent time in the afternoon. There was plenty to celebrate; I could go to Starbucks and be happy about my emotional bond with Betty, eat at Pizza Hut and maybe meet a classmate I should already know while I celebrate having a peaceful day with my other siblings yesterday. The options were endless. Ultimately I settled with a caramel frappucino and a personal pizza. I sat outside on a bench and took in nature.

Yeah cars and adults moved from here to there but this was the place where kids actually became adults. Where they made mistakes and laughed or cried about them years later. Where they learn to be independent and sometimes grateful for their childhood, no matter how good or bad. This place right here is what made some people into the adults they are now. Not everyone has to go to college though.

I don't want to go to college though.

I people watched. How could people be happy one moment and then sad the other? How could friendships last as long as school years and end in a place only meant for higher education? Why is a place that costs so much, so praised and yet so harmful? Is college or a university only a controlled learning environment? Where you learn about yourself and a subject?

Imagine being healthy and sane.

My body could never.

I looked down at my food. Imagine deserving life and finding your purpose. Having someone to love even if only for a night or a few? Meeting the love of your life or having kids? Pursuing your career. Smiling? What's wrong with me? Why have I always been an outsider?

Is it because I'm so much more than all of this as my "superior mind" likes to believe. That everyone should bow down to me, that I'm the best. That everyone envies me and would like to be me? Or is it because somethings wrong with me....? I think that's it.

I left the rest of my food on the bench and walked numbly back to my car. Maybe that dream wasn't a sign that Betty would be better than me or halt me in some way. Maybe it was a sign I need to drive my car off the road. My very expensive and detailed car.

I hopped into the driver's seat and buckled up. I turned the air to the perfect setting and found my most favorite playlist. I didn't have a favorite yet. I relaxed my seat back some more and looked back as I backed out of my parking space. Only here for maybe a good hour or less, and I'm about to commit suicide. I had always told my mother college would be the death of me. School at that. And now she sees.

I started driving, looking for the best way not to hurt any healthy and sane people as I made my way out of this world. I decided I'd go by a river. People always jumped from rivers, well...my car would just jump with me. I called my mom, pressing record on my phone. I had never screen recorded a phone call on my phone but I hoped it saved. I'm sure she would want to remember this for the rest of her life.

"Pick up mama," I whispered.

Just my luck that a river was nearby. I pulled down the hump into the parking lot with no cement. It was nearly empty. Good. "Hey sweety," my mom answered. "You're probably gonna hate me for this but I'm screenshot recording this for you to remember. You'll always have me with you."

Too soon my mother caught on, "Munae. Munae. Where are you right now? What's wrong sweety?" I felt out of my body and my gaze slackened. I kept driving through the wooden posts surrounding the parking lot. I could see the river within my reach.

"Mom, I love everybody. Tell Betty I cared. And that I'm sorry about Murriz and DaToya. She'll know. And mom, I wasn't in college all of this time. I ran a gang. Take all the money you need for comfort and my funeral and the family. Do good with my discarded things. Make a worthless life good."

I was rushing my words as I got closer to the river. "I'm sorry for everything I ever did. You can have the toy mansion and my work mansion. Give the toys to sick kids and tell Mrs. Davis and the rest of my staff that they always have the protection of my gang."

The front part of the car started going through the mud. "No, Munae!"

"Bye Mama," I said defeated.

(Y'all I was so numb typing this, my hands were like moving so slow 😭 so if it's bad quality in this chapter my bad)