for the holidays | rini au

nine

high school.
- junior year.

ricky's known he's loved her for awhile. it started with him finding himself unable to keep his eyes off of her, finding everything she does absolutely mesmerizing.

then his heart started beating faster when she was around. she pointed it out once, while laying on his chest as they watched a movie. she asked why his heart was beating so fast, scared he was sick or something was wrong, he just told her it was nothing. she gave him an understanding shrug, and placed her head back where it was.

it wasn't until he began to find himself relating everything in his life back to her, all of his thoughts taken over by the mere thought of her, did he realize he was irrevocably, hopelessly, in love with his best friend.

at first he wasn't sure what to do. part of him wanted to tell her, somehow he had convinced himself that she reciprocated his feelings, but another part of him didn't want to cross a line.

he decided to tell her, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't.

she wasn't one for surprises or grand schemes when it came to stuff like this, so he decided to just come right out and tell her. he invited her over to watch a movie, a normal occurrence in their friendship. upon her arrival, he took a few moments to compose himself, getting ready for what was to come.

nini walked in and immediately made herself comfortable on his couch, while he went to the kitchen to make popcorn. he sat a little further away from her than usual, causing nini to look at him with a confused look. she moves closer and settles into his side. resting a head on his shoulder, she reached for the remote to pick a movie.

he grabs her hand before she can fully grab the remote, making her lift her head off his shoulder and look at him with a worried glance.

"i have to tell you something," he says, nini nodding and urging him to continue, now or never, he thinks before saying, "i love you."

she laughed and playfully punched him in the shoulder, "i love you too, stupid."

he grabs her hand and loosely holds it, "no, nini, i'm in love with you. like, i wanna kiss you and hold you in a way that friends don't hold each other and spend the rest of my life with you. i love you," he rambles, hoping for a positive reaction.

her face falls, much to his dismay, and she pulls her hand away from his. she quickly stood up and began gathering her stuff, ricky staying seated while trying to process what was happening.

"wait, nini. where are you going? i thought i-"

"ricky i can't right now, i'll see you at school," she interrupts, leaving his house. he's pretty sure a part of his heart shatters as the door slams.

2 days later.

it was monday, meaning he'd have to face nini. he confessed his feelings on friday, during their weekly movie night. he was kind of glad he had the weekend to process her rejection, but the pain was no where close to being resolved, and he figure it wouldn't go away until he talked to her. he just wanted closure.

he sees her standing at her locker, running up before she departs for her class.

"nini," he calls, grabbing her wrist, "please talk to me."

she quickly turns around, ricky taking notice of her red eyes which had large bags underneath them. he feels absolutely horrible knowing that he was the cause of them, apologizing through his gaze.

she rolls her eyes fully turns around motioning towards him, "talk."

he sighs, "i'm sorry nini, i- i didn't mean to put that on you all at once, i just wasn't thinking and thought you should know and-"

"okay stop. just stop," nini says, lifting a hand to stop him. tears formed in her eyes and her voice was filled with anger and hurt, "you shouldn't have said anything. i cant do this, don't reach out," she walks away without looking back.

he moved to chicago a week later. his parents' divorce had been finalized and both his mom and dad figured it'd be best for him to go to chicago for the rest of the year. it was a little bit challenging for him because he hadn't finished his junior year yet, but he'd do anything to get away from the awkwardness in salt lake. he just wished he wasn't leaving nini like this.

nini hadn't contacted him since his confession, and as promised he hadn't reached out to her, with the exception of one time after he landed. leaving her while knowing they were in a bad place hurt, but he figured it was better to rip off the bandaid and move on. one thing was certain however, he never did.

present.

nini finished explaining everything to her friends, who were looking at her with a mix of different expressions.

"wait so, he just left? without saying goodbye?" kourt asks, trying to make sense of everything.

"yeah," she says, "i cant complain though, i'm the one who told him not to contact me."

"ok but why do y'all hate each other so much, didn't he move on? with molly?" kourt questions.

"he texted me when he landed, said he was safe and in chicago. then he blamed me for ruining our friendship. he said i shouldn't have pushed myself away from him when it was easier to just talk it out," she answers, playing with the blanket on her bed.

"he WHAT?" carlos asks, anger surfacing.

nini looks down, tears brimming her eyes at the memory of the fall out. she looks up and blinks away her tears, "it's in the past. i'm over it," she sniffles a little bit and wipes the tears off of her face.

seb gives her a hesitant look, not sure if he believes her, before putting the thought aside and saying, "thank you for telling us, neens. if you ever want to talk we're here," carlos and kourtney nod their heads in agreement with him.

"thank you, i love you guys so much," she blows her signature kiss, and hangs up the phone. taking a few shaky breaths to compose herself, she lies back on her bed to take a much needed nap.