The Popular Brother

Chapter 4

Sakusa's POV

I don't know why I was doing what I was doing. I did everything in my power to AVOID touching people. But I felt compelled to do this for Atsumu. Normally I'd feel disgusted from touching someone else, but something about this wasn't that bad actually. Maybe it was because I knew his hands were clean from the disinfectant.

"Sakusa..?"

"You aren't your brother."

"Huh?"

"You aren't Osamu. So don't be upset. You'll find people who will appreciate Atsumu Miya." I said honestly. I understood what it was like to be compared to others. It was no fun. I had an older brother and sister who often would turn their noses up at me for my behavior. 

When I was younger, I even tried to stop my 'germaphobic' behavior. I thought it would earn people's approval. But it never did. All it did was make me constantly anxious. I was suffocated from being surrounded by dirty things that I couldn't clean. 

So I found out even in grade school that changing myself did nothing. So I went back to how I wanted to, and couldn't help, but act. My family found it quite annoying. So much so that my parents helped pay for a separate apartment for me to live in. They said living with my obsession was too much.

So now I was 17 and lived on my own. Part of it was nice because I would get to keep the place as clean as I liked, but part of it was lonely... I'd wonder why my own parents basically kicked me out just because of my habits. But, I didn't need to live with them if they were going to behave like that.

I felt bad for Atsumu. I could understand his pain.. his questions about "why am I not good enough". Atsumu sat stiff as a board as I kept my hand over his, but slowly, he shifted his hand to properly hold mine. It felt weird holding hands with someone, I wasn't used to ANY type of intimate touch. But I didn't mind this. In fact, it was kind of nice..

"So.. do you.. wanna go somewhere else...?" Atsumu asked, sounding shy. I nodded as we both paid for our meals. I used my free hand to pull my mask back up and Atsumu did the same. We got up and left, walking nowhere in particular while still holding hands.

Some people stared, but I've grown so used to people staring that I didn't mind. Atsumu on the other hand seemed a bit bothered by the stares we received.

"Are you alright?" I asked, Atsumu looking at me.

"Y-yeah.. why?"

"You seem bothered. Is it because of this?" I asked, squeezing his hand slightly. Even with the mask over his face, I could see a little bit of a blush show up on Atsumu's face.

"Oh... N-no I just.. um.."

"If you're uncomfortable, simply let go of my hand." I said. That was the simple solution. Then people would stop staring. But Atsumu just looked back forward and held my hand tighter.

Atsumu's POV

Why was Sakusa letting me hold his hand oh my god it was so strange but it felt incredible why were his hands so soft was there a reason this was happening there's no way I'm not dreaming or something-

"Atsumu."

"H-huh?"

"Would you like to come back to my apartment?"

"...Apartment??"

"Yes."

"You have an apartment???"

"Well, my parents help pay for it right now. But yes." He said. Now I was even more shocked. He had an apartment..

"Y-yeah, sure." I mumbled, following him to his apartment. It was actually a decent place. And of course, it was 100% spotless. Even the corners of the ceiling didn't have one spec of dust.. Sakusa let go of my hand so he could take his jacket off.

I couldn't help but pout a little bit, kind of missing the warmth of his hand. His hand was a lot softer than I thought honestly. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Sakusa walked over to me.

"Go take a bath please. I'll wash your clothing while you bathe." He said. I nodded and did what he asked. After a shower, Sakusa gave me my clothes back. They smelled like him, and it was quite nice honestly. I changed quickly and dried my hair before sitting with Sakusa on his couch in the little living room area.

"Hey Sakusa?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you have your own apartment, if I may ask."

"...My parents found it too difficult to live with me."

"What..?"

"I would always bother them about their cleanliness. And I suppose that it became too much for them to deal with. So they told me that they would help pay for this apartment so I can be as much of a "clean freak" as I would like." Sakusa explained. I furrowed my brows, feeling kinda bad for him..

My parents might find me annoying or whatever, but at least they didn't basically kick me out. I nodded, Sakusa glancing away. I never knew that about him. He looked.. upset over it. Like really upset over it... 

I would be upset too. It must be lonely living alone like this. I know that I felt lonely when I'd be by myself at school or in my room. But at least I was still technically surrounded by people and could go home with my brother. It was just Sakusa here.

"Do you ever get lonely here..?" I asked curiously. Sakusa looked over at me before nodding.

"Sometimes." 

"..Well, if you ever need company... I'd be happy to provide it." I said with a smile, Sakusa smiling ever so slightly at me. The tiny smiling making my heart beat faster.

"Thank you. I will keep that in mind."

"Yeah, no problem."

"...Would you like to stay the night?"