Criminal Minds x Reader[𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃]

Prompt 20 w/ Derek Morgan

Prompt 20: "For once, stop pretending you're okay! Just talk to me."

Summary: Derek doesn't believe you are as fine as you seem, you finally break down.

WARNINGS: crying, angst.

B/n= Baby's name

A/n: I apologize if this was cringy and horrible. This wasn't my first idea, but I hit a road block on my first idea for this prompt.

Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. – Vicki Harrison

You let a sigh, as you stared blankly at what used to be the nursery of yours and Derek's baby.

You felt like you failed b/n. You could have saved b/n, but you didn't, you were it made it worse since you were an agent for the bau, you were trained for this, but yet you froze. You quickly slide down the wall, holding a baby blanket close to your chest.

Just as you were about to cry, you heard Derek's voice. You quickly wiped your eyes, putting the blanket back in the cot again.

You headed out of the room, heading down the stairs.

"Y/n, I'm home." Derek spoke, walking passed the threshold, he quickly locked the door behind him, walking further into the house. He quickly took out his gun, when he got no answer.

Derek quickly checked the kitchen. Hearing footsteps behind him. He quickly turned around, lowering his gun, and putting it down on the counter.

"Derek, hey." You spoke, giving him a fake smile.

"There you are, I thought something bad happened to you, are you okay? Have you been crying?" Derek asked.

"I'm fine, I just, I was cutting onions up, that's why my eyes are red and puffy." you lied, well it wasn't an entire lie you did cut onions. Derek gave you a concerned look.

Just as Derek was about to speak, you cut him off.

"Derek, I'm fine okay, are you hungry? I pre-made dinner, so all I have to do is heat it up." You spoke, feeling slightly on edge from his constant stare. You quickly moved past him to get to the fridge, but you felt his hand wrap around your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

"Y/n, don't lie to me, I know you aren't okay." Derek sighed, getting tired of your lies.

"I'm fine." You choked out, as tears fell from your eyes, trust your body to deceive you.

"For once, stop pretending you're okay! Just talk to me. You can't keep saying you're fine, when, I've seen you cry, you put on this mask in front of me, but I know you aren't okay, just please talk to me." Derek snapped, as he pulled away, he had enough of seeing you pretend to be okay when you were the opposite. It was killing him.

"I'm sorry Derek, but I have to pretend to be okay otherwise I don't think i could live anymore. You should hate me, Derek, you should yell at me, I killed our baby, Derek." You sobbed.

"You didn't kill b/n." Derek sighed, feeling guilty for yelling at you. His eyes filling up with tears, as he looked at your distraught state.

"I didn't stop it either, what mother looks on while her baby is getting hurt." You cried.

"Y/n, you didn't know there was a group of unsubs." Derek sighed.

"I could have saved b/n." you wept.

You were hysterical, Derek quickly wrapped his arms around you bringing you closer to his chest.

"Sh, it's okay I got you, I love you y/n, so much, b/n death wasn't your fault." Derek whispered, cupping the side of your face.

"Can you just hold me, please?" You begged, making Derek nod his head, wrapping his arms around you again, rubbing his hand up and down your back....