I Wasn't Careful (Bill Denbrough X Reader)

s i x t e e n

The sun was burning down on a late September day, bugs were buzzing around you and the other Losers as you sat in a circle on some logs next to the river. You held Bill's hand as Beverly began to speak, "I can only remember parts but... I thought I was dead. That's what it felt like."

You sat up straighter, looking over at Bill for a split second before returning your attention to her, "I saw us, all of us together back at the cistern, but we were older. Like, our parents' ages."

"What w-were we all doing there?" Bill asked. Bev was quiet for a moment, she stared at her hands which were shaking.

"I just remember how we felt," she replied. "How scared we were. I don't think I could ever forget that."

Everyone was quiet, taking in her words. You knew that after this, you wouldn't know what was going to happen. You'd be in the dark, and as much as that terrified you, you knew that as long as you had the Losers, it was worth it.

Bill stood up, swiping a shard of broken glass off of the ground and looking back up at the group, "Swear it. Swear if It isn't dead, if It ever comes back, we'll come back, too."

He first looked down at you. Smiling, you stood next to him. The others pondered the vow, but one by one, they each stood up. Bill held out his left and made an incision in it using the piece of glass. He then approached Richie and cut into his left hand, he cringed from the pain and shook his hand as Bill did the same thing with Eddie, who looked away. Bill then went over to Mike, who groaned as Bill cut into his skin. Stanley closed his eyes and grit his teeth in pain as Bill made an incision in his hand. Ben let out a quick grunt in pain as Bill did a quick incision with his hand, then he went over to Beverly, as the other boys clutched their bleeding hands, and made a deep incision in her hand. Beverly winced slightly, but other than that, she acted as if she didn't feel a thing.

Finally, Bill circled back to you and held his hand out for yours. You smiled and placed your left hand onto his. His hand was larger than yours, and you admired how it fit perfectly into his. Ignoring the blood that his hand spread onto yours, you whimpered quietly as he cut your palm with the glass.

Bill stepped away, in between you and Stanley, and held out his right hand which you took in your left. Mike took your right hand, then extended his right hand to Ben, who took it with his left hand then took Beverly's left hand with his right, Beverly held hands with Eddie, who cringed, then took Richie's left hand. Richie took Stan's left hand, and finally, he took Bill's. Everyone held hands in silence for a minute before simultaneously letting go.

"I gotta go. I hate you," Stan deadpanned, giving Bill a blank look. Bill looked a little bit hurt by those words, then Stan smiled to indicate that he was just joking. Ben grinned at him, then Eddie, Richie, you, and the others laughed. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Stan," Bill said as Stan turned and left. You watched Richie pat Eddie on the back as the smaller boy left with a goodbye to the collective group.  

"Bye, Mike," Beverly called out as Mike began to leave as well.

He smiled over his shoulder and waved, "See you later, losers." 

"See you around, Bill," Richie said, smiling at you and Bill. He ruffled your hair, earning a scoff from you as you swatted at him to leave. Richie laughed, running off, away from the river.

"See you, Rich." 

"See you guys later," Ben. turned to leave as well before Beverly stopped him.

"Ben," she spoke. "Wait up."

"You all packed for Portland?" You asked as she hugged you close

"Yeah, pretty much," she pulled away, smiling sadly. "I'm going tomorrow morning."

"How long will you be gone?" Bill asked, and pulled Beverly into a hug. She sighed before pulling away with the same sad smile.

"My aunt, she says I can stay for as long as I want, so..." she trailed off, biting her lip. You and Bill shared a look, knowing that meant you may not see Beverly again. She spoke again, catching your attention, "Just so you know... I never felt like a loser when I was with all of you. See you around."

She turned around, jogging a little to catch up to Ben. You and Bill watched as they talked and laughed together. Once they were out of sight, you and Bill sat back down on the log, staring out at the flowing river. He grabbed your hand in his, something that had become natural to the two of you.

"So what h-ha-happens now?" He asked quietly, still looking at the river when you turned to look at him. "When are you go-going back?"

"Back where?" You asked and squeezed his hand a little. He finally turned to look at you, a sad look in his eyes. "Bill..."

"Back home, to your world."

"Oh, Billy," turned your body to face him better. He looked down at your conjoined hands sadly, making you use your free hand to grab his face gently and turn him to look at you again. "I'm already home."

He looked surprised and shocked, his jaw dropped as he took in your words, "B-But your family, what abou-"

"I have all the family I need right here, in Derry," you brought his hand up to your lips and gently kissed his knuckles. He smiled widely and pulled you into his body. You quickly hugged him back, breathing in his scent and closing your eyes in bliss. "I love you."

"You know, you sh-should really be more careful," he said as he pulled away. You tilted your head, confused at his words. "You're stuck h-here now, and I don't plan on ev-ever letting you go."

You smiled happily and pushed him off of the log. He hit the ground with a small 'oof' and looked up to see your smiling above his, still sitting on the log. "Being careful is for losers."

He laughed and grabbed your hand, pulling you down onto him. You landed with a small chuckle, wrapping your arms around him and closing your eyes as you listened to the moving water of the river.

The future was uncertain, that's for sure, but that's just life, you know? Maybe you'd have to go back and kill the psycho clown, earn yourself a little bit more trauma, cry some more. You are in a horror movie after all. But as long as you have the Losers, as long as you have Bill, you know that you'll be able to get through anything the world may throw at you.