Chapter 19

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Wednesday was one of those days, where you want to stay in bed all day and just sleep. Where you don't seem to have energy to even brush your teeth. I hadn't slept well. Yesterday had been another full moon and nightmares of Sirius Black were haunting me. It was horrible.

I managed to get out of bed and change into my Gryffindor uniform. Angelina had already left and Catherine Tracker wasn't here as per usual. Sometimes I wondered if she even slept here. I tied my tie and decided against wearing my jumper. Grabbing my bag I left for breakfast.

I plopped down next to the Weasley twins in the great hall and poured myself a cup of coffee. I seemed to be the only person in this entire castle who didn't like tea. "Good morning to you too", Fred commented on my silence. "Yeah mornin'. Sorry, I haven't slept well.", I replied. I took a big sip of my drink and massaged my temples in hopes it would get rid of my pulsating headache.

"Anyways as I was saying Fred, three galleons is a bit cheap don't you think? We should at least make it five.", George resumed the conversation with his brother. I pulled up a brow, which he noticed. "We've taken on making our own joke products and we're planning on starting up a business here at Hogwarts", he explained, grinning from ear to ear. I smiled. That was perhaps the most Weasley-twins-ish thing ever. "Of course you are", I said chuckling. The rest of our conversation consisted of them telling me all about their new products and ideas.

To my dismay was it professor Snape who held that days DADA lesson. And to my horror he entered the class with the words "Turn to page 394.". My heart stopped momentarily. Before I had even opened the book, I knew the contents of that particular page. Werewolves. Snape now stood at the front of the class and was showing us different pictures of transformed werewolves as well as ones that were in the middle of their transformation. I finally opened my textbook. Scanning the pages I found that half of the text contained incorrect information. I didn't comment on it.

"Werewolves are dangerous, aggressive and cannot be controlled when transformed.", Snape told the class. I had gotten through two thirds of the lesson without saying a word. I was sure the twins had noticed as we were usually chatting through it. I raised my hand. "Yes miss Y/L/N?", Snape said. "Sir, isn't there a potions that allows werewolves to stay conscious during full moons?", I asked and shot him a knowing look. I wasn't going to let him spread misinformation and therefore strengthen the already huge stigma around us. "Yes, there is the Wolfsbane potion. But it is a particularly complicated one that takes a rather long time to brew. Not to mention expensive ingredients.", he explained in his slow voice. His tone told me he did not want to further discuss this with me. I wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily.

"But that means they can be controlled. Besides in the book here it says that werewolves have anger issues, even when not transformed. That isn't true. They are not always angry, they are most likely scared of themselves and only get irritated around full moon.", I continued. As soon as I had finished, everyone was staring at me. I realized that I had probably said too much and anxiety started to surge through me.

"You seem to know quite a bit about this topic miss Y/L/N", Snape stated and looked at me as if saying 'I'm not afraid to expose you'. "Yeah, I've read quite a bit about it.", I said lowly, scared to accidentally expose myself. I was sure Snape would love that, since he wouldn't have to do it himself then. "I'm sure this will come in handy when you do todays homework. A scroll of parchment on werewolves with focus on how to recognize them.", he announced, earning a collective groan from the class. I stared at the professor. Did he really just do that? Did he really hate me that much?

I didn't dare to even make a sound for the rest of the lesson. When the bell finally rang I was the first to leave the classroom. Fred and George tried to catch up with me but I simply entered the girls bathroom. I needed to compose myself and come up with a plan to not get found out by the smarter students of my class which meant something as we shared DADA with the Ravenclaws. I decided to go to the library since I would most likely not run into someone I knew there. I was glad that my friends didn't wait for me outside.

Was I under the impression that I wouldn't meet someone I knew in the library? Yes. Did that assumption turn out to be true? No. I sat down between two of the many bookshelves and pulled out my half finished astronomy homework. And just as I set down my ink Hermione Granger approached me. I figured it wouldn't hurt to distract myself by studying with her. "Hi", I said. "Hello Y/N", she greeted me and sat down across from me. We studied in silence for a bit.

When she had finished her charms homework she pulled out her DADA homework. I glanced at the parchment. 'Werewolves and how to recognize them'. I almost had a heart attack. Snape held the same lesson with the third years? No, no, no this couldn't be happening. If Hermione had done her homework thoroughly, which she had considering she had written two full scrolls even though the assignment only said one, she would absolutely know about my true nature.

"Y/N?", Hermione asked gently. I tore my gaze away from her homework, tried to fake a smile and looked at her. "Hermione?", I retorted. My voice didn't sound as confident as I had intended it to. "You see I wrote this earlier today", she motioned towards the parchment "And I couldn't help but notice that all the signs to recognizing a werewolf are present with you." I had never heard her speak so softly as if she thought I would snap and punch her at every word. The polar opposite was the case. I could just stare at her, eyes filled with fear. "You are a werewolf, aren't you, Y/N?", Hermione finally asked so quietly I almost didn't hear her. A single, silent tear rolled down my cheek. There was no point in hiding it from her anymore. I could just nod, a second tear escaping my eyes. I had to control myself not to burst out sobbing.

Hermione of course noticed and got up. She walked around the table, sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me. I was confused at first. She had just found out that I was a dangerous monster, yet she still hugged me? I found myself silently crying into her jumper and hugging her tightly back. We stayed like this for a few minutes. "It's okay, I'm not gonna tell anyone of course", she reassured me as I was wiping away the tears. I didn't know what to say. She wasn't going to tell anyone that I was an aggressive half-breed? She still wanted to talk to me after her revelation? How could she still like me?

"Thank you", was all I could say. She nodded and moved back to sit in her original spot. "Lupin is one too, right?", she asked. I knew that it was okay to tell her so I said "Yeah". She nodded thoughtfully. "Have you two met? I mean during full moon? And do you take that one potion...", she started snapping her fingers. "Wolfsbane potion?", I finished her sentence. "Yeah exactly", she exclaimed. I looked around checking if someone was eavesdropping.

"Yeah we do take it. I think Dumbledore makes Snape brew it for us. And I've met Lupin once but he didn't take the potion that night and almost killed me.", I told her. For the next couple hours we sat there and talked, Hermione asked questions and I answered. It was relieving to finally talk to someone my age about my condition. I even showed her some of my scars.

That night I slept through the whole night. I wasn't woken up by some nightmare about Sirius Black or my friends abandoning me. I didn't feel exhausted, which was good, considering we had a double lesson potions first thing in the morning. Angelina and the twins did inquire me about my sudden disappearance from DADA the day before, but they believed me when I said that I had had some stomach issues. Well, Fred and Angelina did, I could see that George didn't but he didn't bug me about it.

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