A Taste Of Life

Chp. 16- Fixing The Broken

*Taylor*

Something about Sarah changed since that reunion with her fuckhead parents. She battled so hard to cover up her pain and anger underneath an empty shell. That's what became of her. An empty shell of who she used to be. For some reason, I felt the need to cling onto the innocent and pure girl I uncovered within those pages of her sacred journal. I couldn't and wouldn't let her slip away from the world. Something inside me just wouldn't have it. It was something about her company that has made me feel.. decent again. A sense of hope, if I may. I'm not talking about falling in love with this girl. I haven't brought myself to even think of such a possibilty. But whatever she was, I couldn't whisk it away like I have done to everything and everyone else.

I have no idea how I became apart of this fucked up situation. But here I am, breaking my rules to just help the girl. I didn't like how soft I've become one bit.

I've only ever encountered two broken people in my life. Ava. And myself. But Sarah. She needed a friend, more than she cared to admit. She needed something to fill that hallow inside of her. I've never been one to ever offer anything like this to anyone except Ava. But the only way to move on from this, is to just provide the protection and security that she needed. Only for the time being. Then only after then, could I finally fucking feel somewhat accomplished and forget about this whole thing.

If only Sarah wasn't so fucking stubborn, all of this shit would be easy. But she's thick skulled. She won't accept anything from anyone for shit. Not since whatever happened to her. I can't push her to tell me what happened, but the longer she hides it away, the longer its going to take for me to fucking get over all of bullshit.

..

Sarah dropped me off at my house. She said she needed time for herself now. I understood but at the same time, I wish she could of just dumped me in a fucking junk yard. Anywhere is better than here. Still I appreciated her giving me a place to crash.

I walked inside and wanted to head straight to my room. I did not want to see my dad or his tag along. But before I could even take a step, I heard him from the kitchen.

"Taylor!" He rushed to me and behind him followed the curly haired fucking victoria secret looking model. Sure she was hot and if we were in a different world, I would fuck her. But I realized sex isn't worth shit if its not with someone you love.

What the fuck have I turned into. I desperately wanted to turn back into my ruthless, not giving a fuck person I was before Ava. She literally fucking dragged me from my darkness and into the harsh bright light. Ever since I've been such a goddamn saint and I hated it. I needed to harden myself again, no matter what it takes. Then I'll be untouchable. Nothing will phase me. It's the only way to get through this fucked up life.

"We have been worried sick about you!" He nearly shouted.

His voice was already giving me a fucking migrain. "We?" I asked.

His shoulders released tension as he held Pamela's hand. "We." He repeated.

I rolled my eyes and walked into my room. I don't give a rat's ass if she cares about me or not. It's not like I give a shit about her either. My thoughts were interrupted as my cell phone rang. Ugh. It's my mother.

"Hello?" I spoke through the phone.

"Taylor, honey! Are you okay?" She asked frantically.

Why do you care, you made me move because you couldn't even stand to be near me. I wanted to say. Instead, all that came out was, "I'm fine."

"Your father told me what happened between you." Her voice was started to calm down.

"It's none of his business where I was."

"Your his son. He cares about you."

"Why are you defending him?" I shot back. "After everything he put you through, put us through? He's a piece of shit."

"Taylor." She paused for a moment. "I moved on from it. I couldn't keep in all that anger forever. You shouldn't either."

"Have you.." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Have you been drinking.."

"No baby." She spoke softly. "I've been clean for months now. You leaving has been a huge wake up call to me. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that I've put you and your brothers and sister through so much." Why couldn't she realize this before I fucking moved? Maybe I wouldn't even be here under the same roof as my worthless sperm donor.

"I even started seeing someone." She beamed.

"What? Who?" I was shocked that people in their 40's could still date.

"Richard."

"The cable company guy?" I asked. No wonder we always got discounts on our cable.

"He's very sweet. I think you'll like him. Maybe you'll be able to meet him one of these days."

"Maybe." I muttered.

"Oh and guess who stopped by the other day!"

"Who?"

"Ava!" I knew she was smiling like crazy but she didn't know that my heart nearly dropped down to my stomach at the sound of her name. What was Ava doing at the house?

"Really?" Was all I could say.

"Yes! We had a lovely conversation. Her dad is getting better and he even has a girlfriend. Oh Taylor honey, you should see how much Ava's growing into a beautiful young woman. She has so much going for her."

I wanted to curse her out for practically mocking me about Ava. Maybe if she didn't make me fucking move, I could see with my own eyes.

"Oh."

"Some new folks moved in across the street from their house Mr. and Mrs. Carter. They have twins, a boy and a girl which Ava absolutely adores. Oh and they have a son about your age too. He's very handsome. But they're all such lovely people." Oh fuck no. Now she's really fucking pushing it.

"You've met them?" I said not bothering to hide my annoyance amd discugst.

"Yes, they invited me and Ava's parents for dinner at their house. I was going to take Richard with me." She seemed absolutely oblivious on how fucking irritated I was right now. Who the fuck is this new guy? Has Ava met him? Of course she fucking met him, they're damn neighbors.

"Well I gotta go make dinner sweety, Daniel is getting grumpy."

"Okay." I muttered before I hung up.

I flung myself back on the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few more minutes before grabbing my phone again. I pulled up Ava's contact name. I just need to hear her voice. Just once. I clicked the call buttom and the phone started to ring. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Six damn rings before it connected me to her voice mail. Why wasn't she picking up her phone? Maybe she saw it but didn't want to talk to me? She couldn't have moved on already, could she?

I called again but it still went to her voicemail. I threw my phone across the room, causing a loud noise. I dont fucking care.

I stared at the ceiling in silence until I fell asleep.