Ultraviolence

Chapter 22: Control

Songs: 

This Is What Makes Us Girls - Lana Del Rey 

Venus - Shocking Blue

Y/N, moments earlier

As always, Defence Against the Dark Arts was unbearably tedious. The strangest occurrence had to be Draco Malfoy, who sat on the empty seat next to me when he arrived later than usual. I had already read the assigned chapter on hex-deflections on the train back to Hogwarts, so I had little to distract me.

He was quiet, too busy focused on the assigned reading. I almost felt guilty for thinking about what had happened the last time he sat next to me. The pink was quick to color my cheeks and I instantly fixed my posture, as if doing so would fade the warm color away or at least distract myself from acknowledging it any further. The guilt would have creeped in had I not realised that, if anything, he should be the one to feel guilty. The feeling of being possessed was, however, more difficult to avoid. I felt like a hopeless prey wrapped around his fingers (although I avoided the imagery of his fingers all together now). It made me feel unsafe around him, more fearful, less in control. I hated this vulnerability ardently and I hated him most for forcing it out of me.

The silent tension between us thickened once I noticed he was staring from the corner of his eyes. I was hesitant to speak, but I had to assert myself one way or another. I figured asking for my underwear back was a start.

"I think you have something of mine" I whispered, uncomfortable that the pink tone still lingered on my cheeks. "I, umm, it would be nice to have it back." Nice? Could I sound any more pathetic?

Thankfully, he seemed equally as uncomfortable about my request and licked his lips nervously. Though this insecurity did not last too long and he finally answered confident as ever,

"That belongs to me now."

The chuckle that left my lips was automatic. He had a lot of nerve and then some. But his confidence amused me, so I entertained it for a moment.

"You can't be serious." I said lightly and turned towards him. His light eyes focused on my lips for a second too long. I felt slightly embarrassed for him, since he was being so transparent.

"I like the uh...colour. Scarlet is nice." I chuckled lightly at this honesty. I doubted his affections towards me in the past, but they were all too clear now. Perhaps a little too clear. Strangely, more clear than when he accidentally called me beautiful. At the time I thought highly of the compliment, looking back I would much rather be desired. I clinged unto this new feeling of control. I knew I could have him more than ever before.

"You're such a pervert" I whispered nonchalantly. "Whatever. You can keep it. As a reminder, because that will never happen again." It was fun to tease him. I hadn't decided whether that was a lie or not, but it was fun to dwell on the indecision and keep him guessing. It would do him good to humble him a little. Pansy certainly doesn't.

"If I didn't know any better, I would most likely agree with you" He whispered with little emotion before placing his warm palm on my inner thigh. "But. I think a very... special" he moved his hand upwards possessively and I had a hard time deciding whether I enjoyed this or not, "part of you disagrees." It was difficult to breathe, let alone concentrate now. But I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of provoking any emotion in me, which is why when I pushed his hand away, I did so normally.

"Fine then, play hard to get. We both know you're not." he hushed coldly. His bitter words stung a little bit. Had I not known his ego was probably bruised, the words might have offended me more. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of offending me. I suppose I'll just have to prove to him otherwise.