Heart Attack • Shirbert

• 6 • silhouettes, stubborn, and silence

'Even though you don't mean to hurt me

You keep tearing me apart'

--

Anne was on her way back from Diana's house when she saw four figures working on the farm.

Obviously she knew Marilla and Jerry were out, but the two others were a mystery.

Walking closer, she could make out Bash's face and she felt a little joy in her heart.

He came after all.

When Bash spotted her, he yelled, "Anne of Green Gables! What a lovely sight to see."

Anne ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist with glee. Someone new and exciting was like a breath of fresh air. Anne loved Marilla, but she needed more social interaction. Life without Matthew was a bleak affair. Anne was already planning on returning to school the following Monday.

Hearing Bash's comment, the other figure turned around to see Anne hugging Bash.

Gilbert couldn't help but smile. It didn't matter that their previous fight was unpleasant and tense. He was happy to see her okay.

Upon realizing the other person was Gilbert, Anne completely froze.

She had thought about her first conversation with Gilbert since she walked away weeks ago.

Anne had a whole speech planned defending her words and apologizing without truly taking herself down. She would successfully make Gilbert feel remorse for his actions and he would apologize. Anne's master plan would end in the two forming a friendly rivalry again without Anne really admitting any wrong. She still believed in most of what she said. But not all of it. And his words still rang in her head.

"Don't you think I feel that guilt every single day?"

However, the moment Gilbert approached her, Anne couldn't say a word.

Gilbert couldn't stop thinking about Anne since the day of Matthew's funeral. He felt so much guilt, and Anne's words only made him feel worse.

"Matthew's dead and it's your fault."

He should be furious with Anne, but he wasn't.

"Anne," Gilbert paused, "I think we should talk."

The only mode Anne knew was defensive, "I don't see why."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. He expected better, "I think we need to talk about the funeral."

"What about the funeral?" Anne crossed her arms.

"We fought afterwards."

"So?"

"So I think we should talk about it."

"I have nothing to say."

Gilbert's tolerance was almost completely gone, "Geez, Anne, why are you so stubborn?"

"Stubborn?" Anne scoffed, "Am I really?"

"Yes! I wanted to apologize but you make it so hard."

Anne had officially lost her cool, "Oh poor Gilbert needs to learn how to apologize. Is that in one of your textbooks?"

For a second they looked at each other angrily. Neither one would back down and they knew it. They were both stubborn enough not to back down.

"Anne," Gilbert pulled on his hair in frustration, "can you just let me talk?"

Anne put her hands on her hips, "Why should I?"

"We were friends." Gilbert stated, "You owe me to try."

"I don't owe you anything."

Gilbert couldn't believe how quickly Anne's opinion of him could change. She was so unpredictable it almost made him genuinely angry.

"What about the day of Matthew's death?" Gilbert saw Anne's expression completely change, "Why did you let me help you then but won't even talk to me now?"

Anne was numb, "I told you, I was weak then."

"There's nothing wrong with needing help!" Gilbert gestured to Bash, who was staring at them, "That's why Bash and I are here."

Gilbert and Anne really didn't understand how loud they were.

"I don't need you, Gilbert Blythe."

"I'm pretty sure you do, Carrots."

Gilbert knew exactly what he was doing when he called her that name.

He hit Anne right where it would truly hurt. Anne bit her lip in an attempt to not cry, "Carrots? How dare you-"

"Get over it, Anne." Gilbert was done caring, "I'm going to continue working. Come out when you can apologize."

"This is my home in case you forgot." Anne said defiantly.

Green Gables was her sanctuary he couldn't infiltrate.

Gilbert completely disagreed, "And it's only going to be saved because of my work. I didn't come to deal with you."

"Green Gables and I are a package deal."

"I wouldn't call it a deal."

Silence. They were too angry to form words. They wanted to tear each other's heads off.

In some unexplainable way, this made their relationship stronger. They both knew they could fight for as long as they wanted. There would always be something, and they hated it.

The silence broke when Marilla stuck her head outside "Anne! Stop distracting Gilbert and get inside!"

Anne flushed with embarrassment, "But Marilla-"

"Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, you get down here now!" Marilla ordered.

Anne looked back to see a smug Gilbert.

He relished in her embarrassment.

"See you Monday, Carrots."

"Don't expect to hear from me, Gilbert Blythe."