Heart Attack • Shirbert

• 22 • memories, makeups, and mirrors

'We don't talk enough

We should open up

Before it's all too much'

--

The Blythe parlor was decently big, but the setting felt intimate. Gilbert and Anne sat facing each other in front of the fire. Anne wore a blanket over her shoulders and her hair was a little windblown. Her eyes dulled, voiding emotion.

Gilbert was dressed in his second best white shirt and vest. He attempted to impress Winifred tonight and save his best for tomorrow. If he was trying to relax, he would have changed into something more ordinary, but right now his focus was Anne who had just agreed to tell her full story. He just hoped she actually would.

"I was walking home and I got attacked." Anne stated slowly.

Gilbert took a deep breath. He thought he was ready, but he slowly realized he wasn't at all.  He had to keep himself together for Anne. And he would do anything for Anne.

Anne didn't want to cry. She was so tired of crying. But she couldn't stop the waver in her voice and heat behind her eyes, "He pushed me down, which explains the wrist."

She could feel the wet ground on her hands as if she was still there. Her body relived the moment, "And I got back up but he-"

Anne ran out of breath. It was as if someone was trying to silence her.

Gilbert had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going. He just finished wrapping up her arm when she suddenly stopped talking.

He took her hand in his, "Take your time, okay? I'm here."

Anne looked at him with empty eyes.

"He trapped me against a tree." Anne felt bark scratching her back, "I felt like I was back at the asylum with Lily again, but this was scarier."

Anne squeezed his hand to ground herself. When she was in danger of mentally reliving something, Anne found it useful to use an object to keep her in the present. Right now, that was Gilbert's hand.

Anger bubbled in her stomach, "He grabbed my arms and pinned me against the tree and I couldn't get out."

"Oh, Anne...," was all Gilbert could manage to say.

Anne's eyes finally met his. Hers were glassy and red and his were alert and sympathetic. She tried to focus on being with him. At the end of the day, she got home.

"How did you escape?" Gilbert asked quietly.

Anne's face lightened a little. She was proud of her escape and the sound of pain he made as she ran off, "I kneed him in the gut and ran."

"And how are you now?"

"I'm afraid and I'm tired of it," Anne's anger flared, "I was just learning how to heal my wounds by talking about everything with Lily and I thought I was past it and everything would be okay but it's not."

Anne's fist clenched, "I'm afraid to close my eyes because I'll just see him controlling me like I was some rag doll. I'm a human being, not some piece of meat people think they can push around. I thought I was safe here."

Gilbert squeezed her hand, "You are safe here."

She rolled her eyes. As much as Anne loved Gilbert, this was just another man telling her what to feel. He didn't have to be scared like she did, "You can't tell me that."

He realized his mistake and corrected himself, "You're safe with me."

"I thought I lost you." Anne averted her gaze.