Heart Attack • Shirbert

• 57 • admittance, answers, and anne

'Oh, there's something I've been meaning to

Say to you, baby'

--

Friday rolled around and all of Avonlea was abuzz with excitement over the dance the next day. After being postponed for over six months now, it was finally time for the town to rejoice again. A way to celebrate the beautiful weather and send-off the students who would be leaving for college not too long after.

While Anne had sent off a letter to her college of choice, she hadn't gone back to see Gilbert. At this point, she figured her time was up. He either proposed to Winifred earlier this week or he didn't.

Besides, she'd see him tomorrow, as they were supposedly still going to this dance together. What better time to admit a romance, potentially tragical, then at a dance?

She spent her time tending to the house, ducking anytime any of the boys happened to look in, and sneaking by to sit on the beach and watch the waves crash.

That day, Anne sat on the beach and sighed heavily as the mist hit her face. Her hair was down and it whipped wildly in the wind.

I really will miss Avonlea.

She felt free, in a way. She had reached likely as much certainty as she would. Maybe everything with Gilbert was in the air, but at least her future was set, Green Gables would be cared for, and she knew Matthew and Marilla would be proud of her.

All that mattered to Anne was making them proud.

"May I join you?"

She jumped.

Standing behind her, hands in pockets and with an entirely unreadable expression, was Gilbert.

"Suit yourself." Anne breathed.

That freedom, relaxation arguably, that she felt moments ago, was lost. She was back to being a bundle of nerves.

Gilbert sat next to her.

He had spent the past few days racking his brain trying to decide what to do. Anne had tried to come to him, but ran off the second she saw Winifred. Surely it was to address the incident from the night of the bonfire. What else could it have been?

Yet, she never came back.

Was it because she saw Winifred and decided to give up? Or did she change her mind once more?

He needed answers.

But where was he supposed to start?

"Do you ever miss your time on the steamships?" Anne started for him.

"Some of it." Gilbert smiled as he reminisced, "Not latrine duty or sleeping in a hammock, that's for sure."

Anne glanced at him and smiled herself.

"But I do miss exploring new ports with Bash and the sense of having no idea what I'd see the next time we docked."

Before he could look back at her, Anne turned her attention to the water, "It was such an odd period of time...you being gone."

"Was it?" Gilbert did turn to look at her, wondering where she was going.

The truth was, Anne didn't know where she was going or what she was saying. She was mostly avoiding talking about what they needed to out of pure fear. Fear of finding out Gilbert was happily engaged.

Or fear of finally having to tell him how she felt.

"Well I told you there's no one to compete with at school when you're not around." Anne stated, remembering the day they ran into each other in Charlottetown right before he left for his journey.