Beyond Words - Jacob Diaries

20th September, 2011: RACHEL

I gave an online mock test arranged by my coaching classes, and the results were unexpectedly demotivating. Probably the lowest in my life. For some reason, I was having difficulty while reading the questions. I also couldn't attempt the last 30 mcqs. I suddenly remembered how I used to look down on those students who usually scored lower than me.

Sigh..
I am in their exact position today. I regret giving the test.

I decided to console myself by binge watching 'Clannad'. Another depressing anime.

I was so engrossed in it that I ended up skipping lunch. I was on my bed with my laptop and blanket. Time passed by and I didn't even realize when Rachel reached home. She entered my room in search for a whitener and startled me for a moment.

She looked at me with concern and asked, "Hey, why are you crying?"

"Nothing, just watching a sad scene" I said as I wiped away those one or two tears from my face.

"Ah.. how do you cry watching those cartoons? Here I thought Sanika broke your heart." She chuckled.

Huh?

"By the way, when did you start liking her?" She asked while sitting on the chair next to my study table.

I didn't reply and continued watching the so called cartoon. I was in no mood to talk about it.

"Come on, even I have liked guys before" she said.

I immediately paused the video and looked at her. Rachel had always been the quieter one among us. I didn't predict that I would be hearing something along these lines.

"Who?" I asked out of curiosity.

"You know Amit right? The one who plays piano during the school assembly. I liked him... and... I even told him that I did."

"What!" I was taken aback and definitely needed some time to digest everything she just revealed.

"Yeah.. And he rejected me.. He said he isn't interested in girls as dark as me." Rachel sighed.

Things fell silent for a second.
She confessed and was rejected because of her dark complexion. I never heard something as ridiculous as this before, even Kiran made more sense. I couldn't imagine how she must have felt on hearing those words, that too from an outsider.

Rachel was indeed dark. But no one in our family saw that as a set back. Rather, my cousins called her 'the mysterious beauty'. Her eyes titled upwards as if they were smiling, yet she maintained a stoic face almost all the time. She was lean and tall like a model which often intimidated many of us. Altogether contributing to the mystery that she was.

"I wasn't even planning to tell him." She continued, "My friends were the ones who pushed me towards him and I had no choice then. I am glad it's over and I found out he is an asshole... Nevermind. It's your turn now." She waited eagerly for me to speak.

"I don't like her." I said while avoiding her gaze.

"Don't lie now. You know, I think she likes you too." She grinned at me.

I was puzzled. I almost asked her what she meant by it.
By then, my mother was home and I missed my chance.

We both went to greet our mom. She asked me whether I was feeling better, then found out I had skipped my lunch and scolded me for few minutes. As my punishment, I was made to peel the pomegranate by myself.

I wondered if the iron tablets were working or if it was the pomegranate.

Or the effect of Rachel opening up to me.

I indeed felt a bit lighter that day.