Beyond Words - Jacob Diaries

8th August, 2011: REALIZATION

With the end of sports month, began our terms. I had just got done with mathematics paper and it was mentally exhausting.

"How was it?" Kiran- our maths prodigy- came with a big smile that stretched his caterpillar moustache.

"Not bad, fingers crossed."

"I don't get how you score so less in math. Otherwise, you score perfect in other subjects!"

"I have not hated something as much as I hate calculus. Atleast, I always manage to pass." I sighed.

Our math lecturer was quite scary. She was around 6 feet tall, and in her late 40s. Slightly on the hefty side, with black curly hair and coffee brown skin. She loved picking up on me during the class. Randomly calling out my name, with her heavy hoarse voice and asking me to solve those difficult integration questions! No wonder, MATHS stood for 'Mentally Abnormal Teachers Harassing Students'.

I bid Kiran goodbye and headed towards my bus. When I entered it, I found Sanika sitting on the left side corner and she seemed to be reading a book. All seats were occupied except for the one beside hers. I hesitated for a moment, but finally sat near her.

She happened to look at me for a second. Probably checked who sat near, then went back to read the book.

She was reading a novel.

The light entering through the window fell on her and made her glow brighter than usual. I noticed her hair was brunette, a new thing I learnt.
We had a cream shirt and a brown skirt/pants as our uniform. Her long braids reached beyond her belt up to her skirt and blended with the skirt's color. She looked so picturesque, I wished I could paint her.

If anyone saw me staring at her, they would instantly label me as creep.

I didn't want to disturb her as she was keenly reading the novel. But it seemed like a good topic to talk.

"Umm... What are you reading?"

She lifted her face from the book and gazed at me.

"Persuasion, by Jane Austen."

"For your book review in English class?"

"Yes."

"Did you have a choice on the books you could read?"

"Yep, it was up to us"

"That's good because we didn't have such a choice... I had to read books by Indian Authors only, so I read 'Train to Pakistan'. I wish even I had a choice like this."

I realized I was blabbing too much and stopped.

But Sanika's face lit up instantly.

"You still have that novel? I heard from my friend that 'Train to Pakistan' is a good book."

"Yeah, it is. I still have it."

"You'll lend it ?" She asked.

"Ohkay, I don't mind."

"So, can you bring it tomorrow or when we meet on Sunday in the church?" She looked at me so sincerely that it was difficult to refuse.

"Fine.. but remind me too, I might forget about it." I replied.

She nodded and went back to her book. I thought that she must enjoy novels to a great extent. I had no idea on how to initiate a conversation again, so closed my eyes and rested.

It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable like before. Rather, I felt calm sitting beside this girl, who was busy reading her novel. I wished I could have talked more, but even those few words we exchanged were enough. I also had something to look forward tomorrow.

"Jacob."

I opened my eyes and Sanika was staring at me with her big, round pair of eyes.
It kind of caught me off guard and my heart was racing.

"yeah?"

"What reference books do you recommend for the entrance?"

Sigh...

What was I expecting?

"The reference books you received from school, itself are good ones. Aren't you reading 'Trueman' for bio?"

"I don't know its name. It had a purple cover, I suppose." She looked confused.

I chuckled seeing her careless attitude and asked gently, "How did you buy it then?"

"I know, I am a bit clumsy. Last week, in the bio test that we had, I thought two chapters were coming and studied only those. Instead, four came."

She showed an embarrassed smile as she told me this incident. She was quite chubby. But her smile made her cheekbones noticeable, and a small dimple appeared on both the cheeks. I observed she had brown eyes and long lashes which her glasses managed to hide well.

"I scored 17/30 on that test, you think I need to gear up?"

"Yeah..."

She asked me how I did in my exams and many more things about academics. All I did, was answer her questions. I loved how her emotions showed up on her face, how earnest she was, how pink her cheeks turned, how pretty she was...

When her stop came, she picked up her bag and got ready to leave.
As she walked past me, her foot stamped mine lightly.
Her skirt brushed past my knees, and our fingers lightly touched. The place it touched was tingling...

She didn't say bye, nor did I.
I really hoped to talk again the next day.

Once I reached home, I was welcomed by my sister. I went straight to my room, changed my clothes, and headed to the hall to have my snacks.

Rachel was busy listening to songs of her favorite boy band but I decided to interrupt her anyway, "Rach... You know Sanika Mathew?"

"Oh yes, her brother is my classmate." She replied.

"What kind of person is she?"

"I don't know, she was my exam partner once... She was helpful and sweet. Why?" Rachel paused her video and looked towards me.

I shrugged, "Nothing. Just wanted to know."

"Nevermind, I want you to listen to this song!" Sometimes my calm and quiet sister behaved like a crazy teenager. I usually do enjoy the songs she forces me to listen.

But this time, even as I listened to the song, all I could think of was about Sanika.

Then it dawned upon me...

I like her.