Beyond Words - Jacob Diaries

11th July, 2011: AWKWARD

Ruby team soon got disqualified for the next level, as we had won only one game. My life turned back to normal. I attended lectures like usual. And the best part, there was no need to run after the bus during dispersals.

Once our school ended, me and my friends stood near the school gate and chatted for a bit before parting ways.

"Saw the backstory of Itachi?"

"Yeah! That was shocking!"

Ashutosh and Kiran talked passionately about the latest Naruto episodes, while I was feeling left out. Ever since I had entered 12th grade, I often felt like a third wheel during their conversations. Mainly because, the time I spent on gaming and animes was restricted by dad.

Soon many of my bus-mates signalled me that they were going to depart. I immediately left my friends and entered the bus.

I sat on the last seat near the right side window. As a matter of coincidence, Sanika sat near the left window and there were no other students inbetween us. But this time, she didn't try to talk. I wondered if it was because of our last conversation. I found the silence a bit too uncomfortable.

Each time I glanced at her, she happened to be gazing out of the window, and various thoughts raced my mind.

Is she aware of me? Does she know I am looking at her?

I fought with myself whether I should talk to her or not. I couldn't handle the silence, at the same time I couldn't think of any topics.

"Sanika..."

"Hmm?"

"Uhm... You attend those Sunday classes in our church right?

"Yeah"

"Well... I have coaching on Sundays, so I leave after the mass and can't attend; so my mother was asking if my name had been cut from the attendance register."

I took a moment to catch my breath. I hated myself for coming up with such a lame excuse to talk to her.

As christians, we had to attend Catechism every Sunday- where we were taught the history of our church and various Biblical teachings. The attendance was counted and yearly exams were also kept. But most of the weekends, I had to attend my coaching classes and I skipped Sunday school. Either ways, it wasn't a big deal and I knew it very well.

"I don't think anyone would cut your name just like that." Sanika assured me, "Our teacher is very sweet, he would understand that seniors have their entrances."

"Yeah, still check it once, my mother wants to know."

I decided it was time to stop this conversation, I was just repeating the same thing. Even then I couldn't give up that easily.

"So, what do you think of our sir?"

"Oh, he is really nice! He tells so many different experiences of his. It's interesting." She gleamed in excitement.

"Yeah.. but after a while, it gets boring." I replied.

"I think I might still enjoy it."

"Hmm... later on you'll still get bored."
At this point, I gave up. I was too anxious and had repeated the same sentence again.

I closed my eyes, but I couldn't even rest because of the awkwardness. On reaching home, I headed straight to bed. I thought of how lame I had been.

This girl had slowly filled up my mind.

Only God knows, why she piqued up my interest.

Probably, it was my age and the hormones that came with adolescence.

Probably, I was intrigued by the fact that I see her on daily basis- Monday to Saturday in school, and on Sundays in the church.

Or maybe... It was something else.