Beyond Words - Jacob Diaries

28th August, 2011: DISCLOSED

The Sunday thereafter, I carried the novel to the church.

I attended the Holy mass from the balcony of our church, which was on second floor. Sanika was in the chapel on first floor and was visible from where I sat.
Once the mass was over, I rushed to the chapel and ended up almost colliding with her!

She stood right before me, her skin reflecting the yellow colour of her top which made her look radiant.

I was dazed by her.

She averted her eyes and softly said,
"Sorry."
Then moved out of my way.

I could feel my heart thrusting against my chest. But had no more time to spare as I was supposed to attend my coaching classes. I gave up on carrying the novel with me again...

We stopped talking from thereon. She never initiated another conversation, nor did I ever find a reason to talk.
Whenever we walked past each other along the school corridors or in the church, our eyes would meet.
And both of us would immediately avert.

"Hello!"

"Where were you lost? Whom were you looking at?" Kiran said waving both his hands at me.

Apparently I was lost in my thoughts while staring at her.
It was our lunch break. I was leaning against the corridor wall infront of my classroom. While Sanika and two of her friends were chatting and laughing in the hallway.

I shrugged, "No one. What were you saying?"

"No, I am positive you were staring at those girls over there." He pointed his finger towards her direction.

I immediately grabbed his hands, "Hey, don't go pointing at random people."

"Woah.. " Kiran opened his mouth wide enough for the largest sized rat to enter.

"So who is it? Is it the one in the middle?" He lowered his voice, "Trust me, I won't tell a soul."

I nodded. In that brief moment, I didn't realize I was being naive and fooled by him. He immediately shouted, "JEENA! ASHUTOSH! COME HERE, OUR MAN HAS A CRUSH!"

His shrill voice was enough to let the world know that I liked someone. I panicked and glanced in her direction.
Luckily, she had already entered her class.

"What? Who is it?" Jeena asked me looking straight in my eyes. There was no way I could hide it when she seemed determined to find out.

"She is our junior."

"Lol! Our late bloomer has finally bloomed, hahaha! I need a party!" Ashutosh laughed and hit my back.

An interrogation soon followed. They made me divulge each little detail that was known to me. I felt naked. I wished they would spare me the embarrassment.

"I'll go to their class and check her out!" said Jeena in all her excitement and left us before I could say anything.

Why do we have a free period right now? Sigh.

I awaited Jeena's return the way a mother awaited her son. All the while hoping she didn't spill the beans infront of Sanika. Well I did trust Jeena as she was a mature person, unlike a certain someone. I glared at Kiran while he was having the fun of his life by laughing at me.

My friend returned.

"Saw her?"

"Yeah... She looks like those Russian dolls. Uhm.. What do you call them?"

"Matryoshka" I answered and smiled. Sanika indeed resembled the doll, probably because of how chubby and pink her cheeks were.

"Yeah, that one. I went to her class and she was doing the practical with one of her friend, far off from all others. Even when I mentioned her name to her classmates, there was no reaction from her. I found her very similar to you... Extremely reserved and in her own world."

Most of the curiosity that my friends displayed initially had died after hearing Jeena's account. And I could finally breathe.

So she is like me..

I kind of felt closer to her. I wondered how much did I know of her or whether she is the exact person I perceived her to be. I wished I could find out more..

At that moment, I must have atleast a thousand wishes.. which were never going to be fulfilled.