Dear Fred

Dear Fred, Love George

Dear Fred,

Mom is making us write letters too you. She doesn't think we are coping well. I honestly think she's the one not coping but I could never say that to her. I hate this, I hate all of it, it shouldn't be this way you should be here with me running the joke shop and annoying the shit out of everyone like we used to.
It's been a year, I still think about the battle every day. I think about where I was when it happened, was I joking around, was I fighting for my life. I should have been with you, we were supposed to stick together Fred we promised each other we would always stick together.
I still remember Ron walking in after you. I remember seeing you and then seeing him and Percy, I remember my mind going blank as I touched your face and held your hand. I don't remember standing up but I know somehow I found my way over to Ron and Percy. I was terrified and confused and I didn't know what to do but once I seen my brothers come in and realized that I could have lost them too. I was able to tear myself away for a minute and just thank Merlín that they weren't taken away with you.
I never got to say goodbye to you, at least if I had been there I could have said goodbye, I could have said something. I'm struggling here Freddie, we all are. Ginny is helping me, she's putting on a brave face for everyone but I can see through her. She's struggling just like I am. She reminds me of you, I spend most of my time with her, she's the only one I let see me cry because she's the only one who is stronger than me. She's the reason I'm still here, you were right about her, you were always right about everything.
I pretend I'm okay to everybody else. I laugh, I smile, I crack jokes but it's not the same, not without you. I just want to hear you laugh again, I miss you, I miss the way we used to plot and the fun we had when mom would shout at us.
Mom doesn't shout anymore, she barely talks. She busies herself in the kitchen, making feasts everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Dad goes to work but he hasn't talked about Muggle things for months. Even at your funeral he didn't once approach Hermiones parents.
Charlie and Percy moved back in, Fleur is pregnant, it's twins, two boys. When I found out I didn't sleep for a week.
I don't know if I can handle it here much longer. I'm trying Freddie, I'm trying to be strong like you would have been but I can't help but think that it should have been me. You were always more outgoing than me, we were called Fred and George for a reason, you were always better. Which means you would have been better at this, at coping, at being strong, I know you would have.
I sleep in Ron's room on the floor or on the couch. I haven't went into our room since you left. I can't.
Please Freddie, give me a sign. A sign that your safe, that your happy where you are. I will never be whole again without you Freddie and I know we never said it much but I love you, I loved you.

Love George