Infection Runs Deep

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE: THE FIRST ATTEMPT

As we reached the main gate, my heart beat out of my chest and my lungs screamed for mercy. I hated running, especially in a boot. Every step throbbed, but I didn't really have any other choice. I wasn't going to force Luke to carry me half a mile.

Luke slipped into his sergeant persona, the sharp lines and angles, the hardass expression. With his arms crossed along his chest, he strode up to a man barking orders. "What's the SITREP, sir?"

The man answered without missing a beat, a simple glance at Luke's uniform told him all that he needed to know. "All things are handled here, Sergeant. Return to your post."

Little did he know that Luke had never actually gotten to his post.

"Sir," Luke tried to protest, but the man wasn't having it.

As he chewed Luke out for disobeying orders and insubordination, I scanned the gate. I locked eyes with Ian who looked as guilty as sin, especially as two men dragged him down the steps of the control tower.

"Sir," one of them called, drawing Luke's and the other man's attention.

Luke's eyes widened before he pressed a hand to his forehead. "Ian," Luke said softly, more of an echo of disbelief than a calling out to him.

I knew it then, deep in my heart. Ian had tried. And failed. We gave him too much responsibility, a job too difficult. It was all my fault.

I brushed past a fatigue-clad soldier, darting to Luke's side. "We have to do something," I hissed in a low whisper. "We can't just leave him."

"But we can't do anything." Luke's lips pressed together in a grave line. "If we go after him, we'll implicate ourselves and then we won't be able to stop the operation."

"I can't leave him at their mercy, Luke. Please," I asked him, pleading with him. "What can I do?"

Luke looked at me one last time, brushing a stray piece of hair from my face. "FInd Warner. Carry out the rest of of our op. You know the plan."

"What about you?"

His gentle turned up edges of his lips melted away into a hard line. "I'm going after him."

"You'll be implicated, too," I protested. "Let me do it. It doesn't matter if I get in trouble." My breathing became shaky. "Please, Luke, I can't lose you both."

"You're not losing me. Or Ian."

"Luke, you'll be committing treason right alongside Ian."

"Please, darlin'. Have some faith in me." He pressed his lips to my forehead, a soft, careful kiss. "Do this for me."

I wanted to sob. To rip this place to pieces. To scream at this injustice. But I didn't. Instead, I took a long, deep breath and locked up my emotions.

It was my family all over again. The pain of losing them. The vain hope that they might be okay.

I had found a new family now, one forged in blood and fire, one that I chose to protect. One that I would never, could never, give up. One that I loved and cared for. One that I couldn;t bear to lose.

So I took the fear and love and locked it away. Didn't let myself feel. I taught myself after that one last case. When everything went just a step too far.

One too many patients died under my care. One too many insults that hit home. One too many blows from Oliver's hand. One too many nights that I was afraid to fall asleep. One too many times that I would never forget. One too many times when it hurt too much to feel.