Adopted By The Cullen's

{Chatper 2} Goodbyes

Chapter 2

I stared at my outfit in the mirror. I was wearing a bright blue dress with tiny white polka dots. It was high necked and it was tight in the bodice. From the hips it frilled out and stopped right at my kneecaps. My finger nails were painted baby blue and my toes nails were painted white. I put on my black leather heels that didn't do a lot for my height and added a couple of bracelets to my wrists. The bracelets were for hiding long white lines that ran in different, jagged directions along my wrists. I hadn't been feeling low on myself lately, so none of the cuts were fresh. Most had healed over and scarred.

Why did I cut myself? Because it released pain. Doesn't it just pile on more pain? No, it doesn't.

Everyone called me perfect. In my eyes I was far from perfect. My red hair was long almost down to my waist and I was thin, a little too thin that it almost looked unnatural. But that was because it was unnatural. If I felt like I ate too much, or ate something unhealthy, I'd ... throw it up. I couldn't stand the thought of having eaten something that wasn't fat free. No one knew I did it. No one. I was careful so that no one saw and that no one would judge me. Not to mention that I was anorexic last year. I guess I just have a lot of baggage. I make everyone think I'm the preppy too-cool-to-be-anything-but-perfect girl, when really; I stick the end of a tooth brush down my throat if I ate sugar that day or when I stare at myself in the mirror and decide that I hate myself and I slowly watch blood slide down my wrists and into the sink.

Cutting myself really isn't a good idea. Not because it gets addicting or because it's a sad and depressing thing to do. But because I'm anemic. Being anemic means I don't have enough red blood cells. I take iron pills daily and once every three weeks I go to the hospital for a blood transfusion.

Now none of those things are the worst parts. Not the cutting, the vomiting, the anemia, none of it. The worst part, is that I'm dying. No not because I might also be a little bit suicidal. But because I have cancer. I got it from my mom, who died from it when I was six. She was in the hospital for a year, getting chemo therapy and radiation. All that crap didn't help her, and she died. I didn't want to be like her. I didn't want to sit in a hospital while they poked and prodded me with needles and I certainly didn't want to be told when I could see my family and friends, and when I couldn't. I wanted to be surrounded by the ones I loved. Not by strangers in a hospital. I probably wasn't going to live pass the age of eighteen. But that was OK. I really didn't plan on living passed that age anyways. I just wanted to make it to seventeen and have the coolest party ever. I didn't want people to forget about me.

About a week after my mother died my dad got a call. He was to go to war. I haven't seen him since. Sure, we get calls every year or so, but we never get visits. He goes from one war in one country, to another war, in another country and he never, gets time to come see his kids.

So we were on our own. Jonah was thirteen and was doing his best to care of me and my little sister. We were moved out of our house and into the orphanage. Of course there's a chance we'll be separated, but we try to stick together as best we can.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of my family. My heart ached thinking about how much I missed them.

I wasn't sure why I was getting all dressed up. I knew Jace wasn't coming and I knew I wouldn't go anywhere with him. He was a stranger. And he gave me a weird vibe. But he did look familiar. Had I seen him somewhere before? I sighed and tugged on my fishtail braid that sat on my right shoulder. I couldn't believe I was even trying to look good for him. He wouldn't even come. He didn't even know where I lived!

Why had I even agreed to go out with him? -wait, never mind. It isn't a date. I glared at myself in the mirror. My lips were bright red and my lashes were long. I turned around and faced my bed. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was getting ready. For date that would never happen. A date with a guy I didn't know. With a guy that made my heart race. There was something about Jace that dangerous and made me think twice. There was something different about him and his family -and it wasn't just their inhuman beauty.