𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕣𝕤

𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕪-𝕗𝕚𝕧𝕖

(TW: self harm, mini-panic attack. you thought we were gonna be happy now? no❤️)

Spot puts his laptop away and stands up, walking around the room. Albert follows, but I stay on the bed, wrapping a blanket around myself. After a few moments, I notice Albert make a face and slip something into his pocket.

"Ya stealing from me, ranga?" I tease. He sighs and turns to me.

"First of all, never call me that again." I chuckle. "Second of all I'm not stealing shit."

"I just saw you slip something into your pocket bitch. Lemmie see." I stand up and walk over to him. His face falls and he reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a razor. Fuck. He looks back at me.

"Toni, we're not just gonna let you keep doing this to yourself." Spot says, looking around the room for more razors.

"It'll be hard, but we're here to help." Albert takes my shaking hands in his. It gets harder and harder to breathe. "Hey..." he comforts. "Sit down, breathe, it's okay." Al leads me back to my bed and we both sit. My arm moves to scratch my other arm, but Spot comes over to stop me.

"Antonio-"

"I'm sorry!" I sob. They look at each other for a moment, then back to me.

"Hey hey hey, don't be sorry." Spot sits next to me, loosely putting his arm around my shoulder. Albert gently grabs my hands again and I rest my head on his shoulder.

We stay like that, silent, for what feels like hours. No one knows what to say. Eventually, I break the silence.

"How did you guys know..."

"When you were at the hospital we noticed...uh..." Albert stammers.

"Cuts on my arms." I finish his sentence for him, staring blankly at the wall ahead of me.

"Yeah." He says. And we're back in silence again. The quiet makes my skin crawl and it makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a fork.

"I'm sorry," I start. "I completely fucked up this whole relationship thing. You shouldn't have to deal with a mentally unstable bitch like me." I stand up.

"Toni, no-"

"Toni yes. You should just fucking leave. You...you deserve better. The two of you were happy before, and I just came on in and fucked it up."

"Toni-"

"You guys were perfect together, just the two of you-"

"Toni!"

"You should just go back to that. You don't need me-"

"Antonio!" I shut my mouth and turn back to them. They both look heartbroken, which makes me feel even worse than before. Spot stands up and walks over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. He sighs before connecting his lips to mine. I lean into the touch. He soon pulls away, loosely wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Antonio. If we didn't love you we never would've asked you out. We never would've asked you on dates. We never would've kissed you, or stayed up on facetime with you until 3am." He looks me in the eyes. I don't return the eye contact.

"If we wanted it to be just us, we never would've bothered taking you places or being super affectionate." I didn't even notice that Albert was next to me.

I can't stop the tears that fall. Albert reached over to wipe tears off of my cheek. My knees become weak and I fall to the ground. Spot and Al kneel next to me, trying to comfort me.

~time skip brought to you by: Mars can't let race be happy for too long.~

We're back on the bed in the same positions that we were in before. The sun had set a while ago. I never got to watch it due to my breakdown. I bury my face in the crook of Spof's neck, my eyes drooping. And before I know it, I'm asleep in the arms of my boyfriends. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Can't believe they put up with my bullshit.