𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕣𝕤

𝕤𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟

(TW: Death, mini panic attack, shit goes down my friend.)

      I guess her idea of "free" was different than mine.

      During English on Monday, I get called down to the office. A chorus of "Oooooo someone's in trouble!!" surrounds me as I walk out of my class. I can feel my face heating up, but I ignore it. I couldn't be in trouble, could I? I was usually a pretty good kid, except for the fact that I almost always skip my last classes of the day. Fuck, did I get caught?

      Luckily, I wasn't in trouble. But the reason I was called down was so, so much worse. I walk into the main office, which somehow always smelled like mint. The secretary gives me a sad smile before shattering my heart.

      "Welcome Sofia." I feel my jaw clench at my deadname. Is it that hard to call me Antonio? Most of my teachers do. "I'm so sorry, you brought your bags right?" Bitch are you blind? I clearly have my backpack slung over my shoulder.

        "Yes..." I start. "Why was I called down here? Am I getting suspended?" The secretary chuckles at that.

       "Oh no honey, you're not in trouble." It feels as if a weight has been lifted off of my chest. "Your mother was just rushed to the hospital due to a heart attack. She's alright now but I suggest you go over there." Aaand the weight is back, but it's wayy heavier than before. Fuck, I can't lose her! How the hell am I going to get over there? There's no way in HELL I'm getting in a car with my dad. I nod and sprint out of the office. I think I have some spare money for a bus ticket...

       I'm in the waiting room now, my body shaking and my leg bouncing. As soon as I get called in, I run as fast as I can to her room. My heart breaks at the sight in front of me. She's covered in tubes and she's bleeding from her head, probably from falling. But she still manages to muster the energy to flash that sweet smile.

      "A-Antonio..." she croaks, causing the pit in my stomach to grow. I run to her side, trying to hold back tears.

      "M-mama please." She gently starts stroking my hair.

         "I'll be alright baby."

       "No it won't! What do you-"

        She cuts me off. "Remember, always do what your father says. Don't upset him. Remember to eat as much as you can. I love you..." She hands me the locket that she always wears around her neck. "Take care of this for me. It was my grandma's, then my mom's, then mine, and now...it's yours." I fasten it around my neck. It feels so wrong. She takes my hand and places a small kiss on it.

     And we stay like that for a few hours. We chat about funny memories in an attempt to distract ourselves. To no surprise, my dad never stopped by. What an asshole. She doesn't have any family left other than my dad and I, so it was just us and the doctors. It was going pretty okay actually. Her heart was beating at a good rate and she didn't have any trouble breathing...

     ...For the most part. Like every other good thing in my life, it had to come crashing down. Three hours later, her heart rate went out of control and then started to slow down.

      "I'll always love you, Toni." Those were her last words. Her grip on my hand loosens as I scream so hard that my throat feels like it's on fire. The rush of color is back to my face and it feels like my throat is closing. The only good thing in my life just left me. The walls feel like they're caving in around me. Eventually, it gets so hard to breathe that I pass out against the cold hospital floor.

       I wake up in a small room and on a bed. I guess the nurses moved me to a free hospital room until I became conscious again. Grabbing the locket around my neck, tears start to fall as all of the events from earlier came flooding back to me. A nurse who looked to be in her early 30s walks in with some tissue and a bottle of water, which I take gratefully.

      "I'm so sorry, kid. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a parent, especially when you're this young." I hum in response, taking a sip of the water. 'Are you hungry? I know hospital food isn't the greatest tasting food in the world but it's better than nothing." I shake my head. I just want to go home and hide under my covers for the rest of my life.

       A few minutes later I start the long walk home, not wanting to waste the small amount of money I have left. Instead of going in through the front door, I climb in through the window to my room. Flopping on my bed, I stare at the ceiling for hours, allowing everything to register in my brain. I guess half of my wish came true...mom's free now.

(I am so sorry. It had to be done. Don't worry! It gets happy...soon.)