𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕣𝕤

𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪-𝕥𝕨𝕠

(TW: panic attack, abuse/bullying, f slur.)

The next day starts the same as the day before. We get ready, drive to school, and hang out in the library until the bell rings. Then we go through our classes and get ready to leave. Instead of going home right away, we meet up in the library again. I look over at Jack, who's having a conversation with Davey and is noticeably blushing. Charlie and I share a knowing glance and chuckle.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom real quick," I say, standing up.

"Have fun!" Finch jokes.

"Be careful," Romeo adds.

I roll my eyes and head out of the library. After mindlessly wandering the halls, I remember that I have absolutely no fucking clue where I'm going. I was given a map of the school, but I didn't bring it. I didn't think I'd need it.

Fuck.

I walk around the entire school before finally finding a bathroom. Now, I need to figure out how the hell I'm going to get back to the library. I'm walking down a hallway, running my hand along the textured wall when I hear a voice calling from behind me.

"Hey, Antonio!" It doesn't sound like any of my friends, which is odd, but I turn around. I'm greeted by three kids in my grade that are probably twice my size. They don't look like they mean well. I swallow.

I was right. They didn't mean well. the one in the middle grabs the collar of my shirt, bringing my face close to his. A few moments later, he shoves me into the wall. My head hits the wall first, which makes me extremely dizzy. All of this is familiar. Too familiar...

*flashback*

"YOU DUMB BITCH!" I  get backhanded in the chops, staggering back a little.

"M-mom!" I call out. She's nowhere to be found.

"Your mom isn't going to help you now, whore." My dad says, yanking me up by the arm. I scream, but he clamps a hand over my mouth. "QUIET." He throws me on the ground, stomping his foot on my chest, which makes me let out a wheezy cough. His hand soon connects with my throat, blocking my airflow. I don't remember what happens after that, I was passed out. All I know is that I woke up in a shit ton of pain, staring at my mom's worried face above me.

*end flashback*

All of the memories come flooding back. I can't stop them. I can't even fight back. I was never allowed. It gets harder and harder to breathe. 

"Aww, what's wrong, you fucking faggot? Don't know how to fight back?" One of them teases.

(I'm gay btw please don't attack me for saying the f slur)

"He's such a fucking pussy." Another one adds, before delivering a punch to my stomach, causing me to double over. The third one pushes me to the ground. Everything starts spinning. I feel like I'm gonna puke. A rush of color comes to my face. Breathing becomes harder and harder by the second.

"Leave him alone." A voice calls from down the hallway. I look to my right, and to my surprise, Spot is standing there. The three guys shrink back, which is kind of funny to see. Spot can't be any taller than 5'4. These dudes have to be at least 6 feet. Behind Spot stand Albert, Jack, and Specs. Spot steps forward and punches one of the guys in the nose. I don't know how he got up that high, but I'm so fucking thankful. Jack, Spot, and Albert chase the guys away while Specs comes over to me.

"You alright?" I shake my head. I still feel like I'm spinning, and breathing is still a challenge. "Let's get you outta here." He helps me up, catching me when I stumble. We walk together, slowly, back to the library. Once we arrive, I sit down in one of the chairs, wiping my nose, which is bleeding. Jojo hands Specs a first-aid kit while Elmer hands me a tissue and an ice pack. Specs starts tending to my injuries while everyone else watches, worried.

A few minutes later, the three other boys come back with minor injuries.

"Let's just say those three won't be fucking with you any more, "Spot announces with pride.

"Thank you so much," I say. "You really didn't have to do that."

"Of course we did." Albert pipes up. "You're one of us now, and our first rule is to always protect one another." I didn't realize this friend group had rules. 

After they get their injuries checked out, we all disperse to go home. Before I leave the library, Albert runs up next to me.

"You can't just let those guys push you around like that." He sighs. "It lets other bitches think that you're an easy person to attack. They'll never leave you alone unless you fight back."

"Sorry, I just-"

"Don't apologize." We finally make eye contact. I had almost forgotten how hopelessly in love I was with him. Damn.

"I just..." I don't want to dump all of my problems on him. At least not now. "Everything was a blur, I didn't know what to do." he nods, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we walk.

"Welp, like I said. You always have us to help you." He says with a slight smile. "Anyways, I should probably get going." He runs a hand through his hair. "See ya tomorrow." Albert playfully elbows me in the side before running off. I notice him catching up with Spot, giving him a quick kiss before they start to walk together. 

Fuck. It hurts.

I meet Jack and Charlie in the car. No Davey today. They're both looking at me with worried eyes.

"Are you alright? Medda's gonna be so worried when we get home." Charlie states. 

"I'm fine, guys. It ain't anything I'm not used to already." That second part comes out before I can stop it. "Shit. Sorry. Ignore that." The two of them look at each other, then back to me.

"What do you mean you're used to it?" Jack questions.

"I'd rather not talk about it. Let's go." I reply. It comes out a lot harder than I wanted it to, but oh well. We drive home in silence. I had forgotten how much I hated the quiet.