Nothings Gonna Hurt You Baby // jikook

nine

Jungkook was gathering up his materials from class when a dainty hand reached out to grab his wrist. A cold feeling seared through him and he looked up with wide eyes to find Minji looking sheepish.

"Jungkook, please don't ignore me anymore." She pleaded, her expression looking pained. Even though he had never gotten close, she was a friend and he didn feel guilty that they had stopped talking suddenly after what had happened. He just couldn't find an excuse to not do it again and dreaded the conversation that would come if he was honest with how he had reacted.

"I'm sorry, I haven't been meaning to. I just have a lot going on." He offered, the lie obvious to even his own ears. Despite not believing him, she didn't call him out. Her hand retreated from his wrist, going instead to nervously mess with her bag.

"Can we talk?" She asked shyly.

Despite not wanting to, his instinctive need to fix the situation kicked in, nodding without thought. Her expression brightened up slightly and she helped him gather his things before they walked down the hall together.

"I think I might have hurt you." She started off. He opened his mouth to object but she held up a hand and shook her head. "I know you didn't want to date, but I think what happened affected us and it was really irresponsible. I've always thought that you were cute, so I took the opportunity but I think we should have talked about it first."

He awkwardly adjusted his backpack and nodded, staring down at his boots as they walked down the hall. "Yeah." He agreed, voice quiet. "We definitely should have talked about it first. I was upset that day anyways and I probably wouldn't have done it if I was in a better headspace."

He couldn't help but think back to that time. The rejection from Jimin had been so fresh in his mind, he would have been willing to do anything to make himself feel better again. To make himself feel wanted. He didn't feel as though he was taken advantage of, he was just ashamed of how self destructive the choice had been.

"Me too. I don't sleep with people very often. Usually because of the touching thing, which is another reason I'm sorry. I don't want you to think I was rejecting you or anything."

She did appear apologetic, unable to even look at Jungkook. Minji had always seemed so put together, but over the time since their hook up, he could notice that the situation had taken a bit of a toll on her. His heart twinged with pain at the idea of making her worry that she had done something that wrong.

"I was in a bad place, like I said. I'm okay now though, and I completely understand. I should have been more honest with you about my boundaries, so I'm sorry if I made you feel bad." He responded. Her expression brightened up, her shoulder relaxing as the tension slowly left the room.

"If I can ask, why don't you like being touched afterward?" Jungkook asked quietly, her big eyes widening as if she hadn't expected him to take interest in her reasons.

"I had some bad things happen to me in the past, Hooking up with people makes me feel more in control. Like I'm reclaiming my body after what happened to me. But being held or caressed or groped after just brings me back to that time."

Jungkook's heart clenched in sympathy, the words being spoken to him unlocking a deep sadness. He instantly reached out to comfort her but stopped himself with a sheepish look. She met him with a soft smile and reached out herself, briefly giving him a side hug as they walked. His hand rubbed her back feather light, and gentle.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about how you cope."

She shook her head with a grin, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as they pulled away from each other. "You didn't. You just made me realize maybe I should be more upfront with things I don't want. I don't wanna hurt anyone or make things awkward again."