☁︎︎• 𝐿𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑇𝑎𝑟𝑡, 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑏𝑢𝑟 𝑆𝑜𝑜𝑡 𝑥 𝑜𝑐 • ☁︎︎

20

So now I have confessed that he is thine,
And I my self am mortgaged to thy will,
Myself I'll forfeit, so that other mine
Thou wilt restore to be my comfort still:
But thou wilt not, nor he will not be free,
For thou art covetous, and he is kind;
He learned but surety-like to write for me,
Under that bond that him as fast doth bind.
The statute of thy beauty thou wilt take,
Thou usurer, that put'st forth all to use,
And sue a friend came debtor for my sake;
So him I lose through my unkind abuse.
Him have I lost; thou hast both him and me:
He pays the whole, and yet am I not free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lavender's pov

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

same night

i couldn't stop thinking about wil. the kiss we shared. i was ready to go home and kick jack out, so confidently. all of a sudden i realized, i now just felt complete anagapesis towards him. i remember being 18, meeting him at a county fair with his college friends, i remember the way i felt towards him. 

his short black hair and clean face. he was a different man. it feels like the jack i know now isn't who i met when i was 18. now, i just feel gut wrenched looking at him.

 he spiraled downwards when he first started drinking, which i remember was about 8 months after he got permanently kicked out of his fraternity. now that i look back, i shouldn't have been so naive to the red flags that were so blatantly obvious. 

driving home, i rolled my window down to smell the fresh country air. I plugged my phone into the aux and scrolled through my playlist before settling on a song that just felt right. 
"As the World Caves In" by matt maltese

screaming the lyrics was probably the most purifying thing i can do. i felt like i was flying as i shifted gears and upped my car to 75.. then to 80... then to 85... i felt as if i could do anything. 

flying up the driveway, i screeched my car to a stop and opened the door exiting the car. when i opened the front door i expected to see jack sitting there with a glass of whiskey in his hand, but he wasn't in sight. had HE left?

i quietly searched through the downstairs, entering the kitchen. there sat a half empty bottle of whiskey and a round glass next to it. the ice hadn't melted all the way signifying that he had just recently set the glass down. 

i decided to go upstairs. being careful not to creak the old wooden stairs, i managed to make it to the bedroom door. i sighed when i saw the light off from under the door. quietly, i opened it and immediately closed it as to not wake jack up. the room was now pitch black. 

jack always slept on the right side of the bed, so i made my way to the left. right as i was about to lay down, i placed my hand onto the mattress to feel that it had a slope going down. i felt my way around the mattress before coming in contact with what felt like an arm. a cleanly shaved arm. jack, didn't shave. 

running downstairs i didn't mind how loud i was. once i reached the kitchen i pulled out a shot glass, poured some whiskey, and took a shot.

and another. 

and another.

after about 4 shots i shook my head vigorously. i shouldn't be surprised. I shouldn't be mad either. its not like i hadn't done anything unfaithful. but with jack this was bound to happen. he always made sure i knew that i'd regret it if i left him, but here he is, sharing a bed with another woman. I could care less anymore. 

grabbing my keys from the desk by the front door i noticed something. it was a metal name tag. the logo was from the brighton airport, and as i examined it closer, it hit me. 

jack was having an affair with the flight attendant. now i remember, i woke up to him talking to her on the plane, and i approached them talking at the plane entrance. it all made so much sense now.

without a care, i left the house and jumped in the car. with no exact destination, i started driving. 

i found myself driving for close to 2 hours, just around the suburbs and into the city. i stopped at the beach where wil and i were laying mere hours prior. oh i would give anything just to be back in that moment. wil. 

then i remembered, when wil and i exchanged numbers he made sure to plug his address into my contacts. oh god how thankful i am for that. 

it was around 2:30. wil was probably asleep by now, and if he wasn't, he would be by the time i arrived. looking at maps, he lived about 25 miles out of town which would put me there right after 3. it was still worth a shot.

once i got out of the city and into a quieter neighborhood, a wave of tiredness hit me. i just wanted to be back home, in colorado. i just wanted to be with my friends, going to small house parties. in fact, i just wanted to be back in high school. 

i took a sharp right and then my maps buzzed

"arrived" 

it appeared wil was living in an apartment. i roamed the outside of each small building before coming across one that was slightly different from the rest. this one had a purple sticker on the door just above the peep hole. as i got closer i could make out a white figure. it was a twitch sticker.

inhaling sharply, i laid three light knocks on the door and waited. about 30 seconds passed when i heard footsteps nearing from inside the apartment. then, the door was open and there stood Wilbur in grey sweats, and a black tee shirt.