☁︎︎• 𝐿𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑇𝑎𝑟𝑡, 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑏𝑢𝑟 𝑆𝑜𝑜𝑡 𝑥 𝑜𝑐 • ☁︎︎

36

you make me feel
all the love 
that i have lost
in a lifetime. 

~~~~~~~~

we spent the remaining days in vienna drinking fancy wine, eating pasteries (i found a cafe that sold lemon tarts), trying on fancy old dresses, and screaming to music in the car. this, this is everything i would've dreamt of as a teenager. i just hoped i would find someone to fulfill this fantasy, and when i met jack, i knew somehow that i would end up being a miserable housewife. that's why i had to leave. 

it wasn't just because of the affair. i don't blame the flight attendant. this was just inevitable. jack will never change, and if he ends up marrying that girl, i pray to whoever that she ends up okay. 

all the time i lost with jack, i would never get back. all i can do now is make more memories to compensate. maybe one day, i'll forget about jack. maybe one day, i won't flinch when i smell whiskey on a random person in the street, maybe i won't even wake up in a sweat feeling pressure on my wrists, when in reality, nobody's there. 

~~~~~~~~

back at home, wilbur's apartment feels cold. untouched. the lights took a few extra seconds to turn on all the way, and the whole house smelled clean of absence. running my hands on the cold counter tops, i felt at home. sure i missed vienna, however this was a different type of home. 

i placed my bomber jacket on the sofa and looked up at wil.

"come here, i have a new song idea" he called as he jogged to the bedroom.

we sat down on the soft bed and wil tuned his guitar, and handed me a sheet of paper.

"i started writing this on the plane when you were asleep" 

i grinned reading the first verse, and he started strumming a sweet chord.

"The cute bomber jacket you've had since sixth form
Adorned with patches of places you've been
Is nothing on my khaki coat I got
From a roadside when I was sixteen"