As Long As You Need Me ~ Kageyama x Hinata

13 ~ Goodbye

Kageyama turned off the screen, not wanting to see anymore. Not wanting to know anymore. He left the library and biked back home. When he got home he could smell the ramen coming from the kitchen.

"Tobio, come help me set the table" his mother called out from the kitchen. He walked over robotically to the kitchen. Kageyama then put three placemats on the table. Along with bowls and cups.

Kageyama glaced at the table that seated four people. The empty seat he left was the one where an orange haired boy had sat that morning. Kageyama ate his food slowly. There was no reason to race today.

Kageyama didn't talk during dinner. He didn't feel like telling his parents about the match with Shiratorizawa, there was only one person he really wanted to tell.

He slowly climbed the stairs with an effort. When he made it to his room he opened the door and began to walk towards the bed. On his way he kicked something. Looking down he saw Hinatas volleyball rolling away from his foot.

He bent down and picked up the hoodie off the floor. This wasn't his hoodie, not anymore, it was Hinatas now. But still he took off his jacket and instead of putting on pajamas he put the hoodie over his head.

It no longer smelt like fresh laundry the way it did that day back in spring when he first gave it to Hinata. But instead it smelt like Hinata. There was some dirt left on the sleeve, but Kageyama refused to wash it off.

Instead he curled up in the hoodie on his bed. He realized he was sitting on the spot Hinata had slept only the night before. As he looked around the room he saw the sleeping bag he'd taken out the night before unused on the ground, he saw the homemade crown on his dresser, and he saw that stupid beat up volleyball still rolling around.

"It doesn't make sense" he whispered into the darkness. There was no one around to hear him though.

Why was he here? Why did he have to bother me?

"I wish I hadn't bumped into him that day" but even as the words left his mouth he knew they weren't true. He laid there for hours unable to sleep. Eventually around 2AM Kageyama gave up on the whole idea of sleep.

He left his house quietly closing the front door so he wouldn't wake his parents. Then he found his bike leaning against the side of his house.

He started to pedal, he didn't have a destination in mind. Kageyama just continued on without thinking until he found himself stopped at the bottom of the hill just outside the forest.

Why am I here? What am I even doing?

It was a cold night and Kageyamas hands were starting to sting from the wind against them. He slipped them in his pocket only to feel something crumple against them.

He gently pulled a folded up piece of paper from the hoodie pocket. He sat down on the grass as he unfolded it, revealing messy writing.

Kageyama,

It's Hinata if you haven't already guessed. I probably couldn't stay for your whole game and I bet you are mad at me for disappearing like that. You probably yelled 'idiot' or something like that, am I right?

Kageyama could almost hear Hinatas laugh at that line. He almost laughed himself thinking about how angry he was back in the gym when he didn't see the orange haired boy.... almost laughed.

He then balled the letter into his fist. He didn't want to read it, didn't want to know.

He looked up to the sky, seeing the stars he felt a pain in his chest. He owed it to Hinata to at least read the letter. He took a deep breath and carefully uncrumpled the paper.

So I'm going to be straight with you. I'm not a normal kid, I was eight years ago. Somehow life wasn't fair to me and I ended up on the wrong side of a car crash. I've been stuck here for eight years now, lonely. Everyone's been blind to me except for some reason you.

I'm not mad at life or anything, honestly I was really sad. I loved my family, and watching them move on was really tough. But to tell you the truth, in life all I ever wanted to do was spike a volleyball. I couldn't make the team, and no one wanted to set to someone who wasn't on the team.

Kageyamas stomach twisted with guilt at this line. He remembered Hinata always asking for a set, and how many times he denied Hinata of that. The morning of October 27th, only the morning before, Hinata had asked for one last set, and Kageyama refused to even give him that.

That's why I was always so fascinated with you. You are a very talented setter, a king, and yet you still spent so much time setting to the less talented like me. I am so thankful for every single set you sent me.

Honestly, I have no idea why you could see me that day when I remain invisible to everyone else. But I'm glad that you did notice me. Ever since I met you I could feel myself fading away, things feel different. I don't know why now, but I can tell I won't be here much longer. But don't worry! I am happy now, you made me happy!

Kageyama, you gave me something I needed more than a set. You gave me a friend, and I know you will probably roll your eyes reading that but thank you.

Kageyama noticed droplets collecting on the paper. He looked up to see if there was a storm coming or just a sprinkle. But to his surprise neither were true. There wasn't a cloud in sight.

Slowly Kageyama reached his hand up to his face realizing that the droplets were tears. He rubbed at his eyes but it only made things worse. He slowly looked back down at the page to read the last few paragraphs.

All this time I was searching for something. Then I found you. At first I thought I was still here because I was supposed to help you, to be there for you when you needed me. But now that I think about it more, you were the one helping me all along. I needed you more than I needed anything else. If I were born eight years later, I think we would have been friends and we would have made quite the pair on the court, although that's mostly you :)

Kageyama let out a sob when he saw the drawn smile on the page. Hinata never did stop smiling he thought to himself, and seeing the smile on the page reminded Kageyama just how young Hinata really was.

Thank you Kageyama, maybe we will see each other again someday.

Oh and by the way, don't you dare go throwing out my 'old beat up volleyball that looks like it's ten years old' or I will have something to say about it.

Take care

-Shoyo Hinata

Kageyama read the letter again, and again. Each time letting himself cry even more. Finally, he carefully folded the paper and placed it in his pocket.

Kageyama laid down on his back staring up at the stars. Lying there he remembered the conversation he had with Hinata only weeks ago.

Hinata had asked about life after death. Kageyama hadn't known at the time just how important his words would be to Hinata. That day he told him there was something more and that you would have to wait for your loved ones.

Kageyama closed his eyes for a moment. That's when it hit him. The last words Hinata had said to him before he left for the bus only that morning. At the time he couldn't make out the words, so he assumed they weren't important.

But lying there he realized just how important Hinatas words really were. They were only four words but they meant so much.

In his head he could see Hinata smiling, giving him a thumbs up as Kageyama walked away. But this time he heard Hinatas voice.

"I'll wait for you!"