Move My Heart (Lev Haiba x Reader)

Chapter 30: A Coward, An Entitled B***h, And A Girl With Nothing

You and Rin walked towards the bathroom in silence, until you had closed the door. Then, she stood, crossing her arms, staring at you.
"Is something wrong?" you asked, mid opening a stall door.
"Don't play dumb," she said, sneering. "Do you honestly think I don't know about what happened between you and Lev?" You stared at her, shocked at her venomous tone.
"So?" you asked, annoyed.
"So?" she scoffed, in a mocking tone. "Come on, y/n, I'm not blind. It's obvious you're not over him." She eyed you up and down, looking disgusting.
"You have guts," you said sharply, taking a step towards her. "To think you know the first thing about me and Lev's relationship."
"So you're not denying it," she shot back. "It's pathetic, really."
"What's pathetic is you trying to corner me and accuse me of something that is outright wrong," you countered, crossing your arms. "Open your eyes, Rin, because I could care less."
"You're seriously worse than I thought you would be," she replied, shaking her head. "No wonder Lev broke up with you." You paused, those words making your heart clench.
"Does Lev know you're such an entitled b*tch?" you asked, and her eyes widened. "You have no right to have any sort of opinion about what happened between me and Lev, girlfriend or not."
She smirked, staring you in the eye.
"I may be an entitled b*tch, but who's the one who's going home with Lev later today?" she asked, and your prideful expression dropped.
"Girls like you are nothing, y/n. Frankly, there's nothing special about you. No looks, no money, and definitely no personality. Nothing." You stood there, shocked at what she had just said. She seemed satisfied with herself as you processed her words. "Lev doesn't go for girls with nothing anymore," she added, and you clenched your fist. Tears started to sting the corners of your eyes, and you blinked quickly. Your breath quickened, and you felt disgusted by every one of her words. How on earth was Lev dating someone like this? You broke eye contact, walking past her and purposely shoving her with your shoulder.
"Hey!" she exclaimed, but you ignored her.
"You shouldn't waste your time on a girl who's nothing, right?" you snapped at her, storming out of the bathroom. You walked towards the table, furious.
"Y/n? What's wrong?" Alisa asked, but you ignored her too. You grabbed your jacket and bag, storming towards the exit.
"Wait!" Lev said, quickly getting up and grabbing your arm. You turned, glaring at him, and his eyes saddened. "What happened?" he asked softly.
"Ask your girlfriend," you snarled, yanking your arm away and trudging towards the door.
"Let me handle this," you heard Alisa say, but you quickened your pace, heading out the door and walking down the street, needing to get out of there. You didn't even feel like dealing with Alisa right now, you wanted to be completely alone. After all, even she reminded you of him, and you knew you would completely break down if you talked to her. Tears were already beginning to roll down your face, and you wiped them away with your sleeve. You heard Alisa calling after you, and you quickly took out your phone to text her that you wanted to be alone. Tears fell on your phone screen, and you gulped, trying to remain collected. People began to stare, and you looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact. Rin's words were a tipping point for you, and finally the tears were coming, tears you had thought you had learned to control. Everything came back to Lev, and you felt completely helpless. You finally slowed, looking around. You weren't even sure where you were headed, so you stood there. Seeing a taxi coming your way, you flagged it down, wiping your face quickly.
"Where to, miss?" the driver asked, and you hesitated. "...um, Nekoma High School, please," you said quickly before you could change your mind. He looked slightly surprised, but nodded. The ride there was quick, and when you got out, a wave of nostalgia washed over you. You weren't sure what had prompted you to come back, but something in you knew you needed it.
You wandered the streets slowly, passing by Lev's old highschool and through his old neighbourhood. You reminisced about all of your memories, until the tears had finally dried and you felt contempt. You continued walking, until you passed Lev's old house. You stopped momentarily, imagining the younger him playing volleyball on the street in front of you, but you forced the thought away. Continuing on, you passed the alleyway where you and Lev had played with a stray cat when you were in high school. Sometimes you wondered what had happened to that cat, although you wouldn't be surprised if he were dead by now. You sighed, passing a couple of high school kids, and you felt your phone ring in your pocket. You reached to pick it up, gulping down your misery.
"Yeah?"
"Can we talk?"
"Lev...," you said, and all the work you had done to keep calm went down the drain. Tears formed at the sound of his voice, and you swallowed hard.
"Hey, please don't cry," he said, sounding helpless.
"I can't do this with you," you said, sighing. "I can't keep letting myself get hurt." You heard him exhale, and you could feel the tension through the phone.
"Is it because of me?" he asked, and you clucked your tongue.
"What do you think?" He went silent again, and you bit your lower lip, waiting for a response. Then, to your surprise, you heard a sniffle.
"Lev, are you crying?" you asked.
"You're not the only one who's hurting," he responded.
"But I'm not the one who moved on," you said, and you heard him suck in a breath.
"Y/n, it's not-,"
"Don't f*cking tell me it's not like that, Lev," you said, angry. "That's not going to work." You heard him sniffle again, as you blinked away your own tears.
"Do you know how important you are to me?" he finally said, and your heart tightened.
"You lost the right to say that to me when you decided not to give us a fighting chance," you finally responded, tears rolling down your face. He went silent again, and you waited.
"Y/n, going there is only going to make us fight," he finally said, and you sighed.
"Then what? Should we avoid this forever?" you asked, annoyed, and his sobs became louder. Hearing Lev cry was like a stab to the heart, and you winced. He didn't reply, and his inability to communicate was infuriating you even more.
"Fine, Lev, be the same coward you always are," you said, and were about to hang up the phone when you added, "by the way, your girlfriend's a complete b*tch." You hung up the phone, quickened your pace. You kept rubbing your face, attempting to stop your tears, but you knew this time it was different. Hearing Lev, or rather not hearing Lev respond, was yet another nail in the coffin, and you felt completely distraught. The last time you had walked these streets, was holding hands with Lev, and now, all you wanted to do was get as far away as possible.

*That evening*

Lev sat on the couch of his penthouse, looking out at the Tokyo skyline. He was twirling a circle on the couch with his finger, deep in thought. His eyes were still puffy from having cried, having cried harder than he had in a long time. He had worked so hard to rebuild a carefree, loving facade after him and y/n had broken up, and seeing her again, seeing the hurt in her eyes everytime he looked at her, made him feel sick to his stomach.
Why couldn't he just run up to her and kiss her, show her how much he needed her? He didn't know the answer himself. She had called him a coward, and it wasn't her choice of words that hurt him most, it was the fact that she was right. He was always, and would always be a coward. But the real question was, if he was truly a coward, then why did their first kiss happen out of pure fearlessness?
Maybe losing y/n was what had made him into a coward, too much of a coward to break up with Rin, too much of a coward to ever accept the pain that he had caused y/n. With Rin, he didn't have to worry about being a coward, she was obsessed with him no matter what. Rin's love for him had only slightly boosted his self esteem after ending things with y/n, and he thought it was the escape he needed to stop his endless days of misery. But now that she was back, he was back to constantly thinking about her, seeing her everywhere, and it was bringing the coward back out.
"Hey, babe, dinner's ready," he heard Rin say from the kitchen, snapping him out of his haze.
"I'm coming," he called back, sighing as he got up. He wiped his eyes again, and he silently wished it were y/n calling out to him, not his own girlfriend.

Author's note: I'm trying to write more regularly now but I'm sorry if it takes a while to get chapters out, I have a ton of work so my time to write is limited :)