𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕟 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥 | Wakatoshi Ushijima x Reader

I fucking love her...

Semi watches Ushijima and Y/N from afar. He feels his heart drop and shatter when they share multiple kisses.

He knew this would eventually happen.

He knew that and yet...

"You okay?" Tendō carefully places a hand on Semi's shoulder.

His body is involuntarily trembling. Semi hangs his head down. Breathing becomes hard as his words are stuck in his throat. His hand tightens around the handle of the picnic basket and he clenches his teeth harshly to avoid his lips from twitching into a frown.

Semi forces his eyes close, feeling them want to well up in hot tears.

Tendō furrows his brows together when he watches Semi bottle his emotions up. "Let's go take a walk Semi." Tendō tries to speak carefreely. He gives Semi a gentle nudge, turning him around from the scene unfolding.

Tendō keeps his hand on Semi's shoulder, guiding Semi further away from Ushijima and Y/N. There's a silence between the two and a darkness looming over Semi's head. Tendō sneaks a glance every so often, unsure what he should say or do.

This situation is difficult to begin with.

Tendō knew Semi's feelings for Y/N. He also knew Y/N's feelings for Ushijima. And he also witnessed Ushijima's growing feelings for Y/N.

In reality, there's only one winning outcome and Semi understood that he wasn't in that bracket.

Yet, Tendō never understood why Semi continued to let his feelings grow for her. Maybe he couldn't understand since he never fell in love with someone that hard before.

He slows his footsteps. The two quietly sit down on the pier that overlooks the large lake that's in the center of the park. The gentle breeze ruffles their hair and Tendō purses his lips. He's not one to usually stay quiet but he literally has no words.

Semi's hands hide his face and Tendō's unsure what kind of expression he is making.

"I never told her about my feelings..." Semi speaks up, his voice cracking. Tendō turns to look at Semi's lowered head and stiff shoulders. "I don't know if that was a good call on my part or not."

Tendō remains quiet, unsure how to answer Semi's question. But maybe it's best for him to not say a thing. He should let Semi speak freely without any interjection.

"If I were to tell her my feelings...would anything change? Would she stop liking Ushijima and maybe look my way for just a moment? Would she dislike me for being selfish by confessing my feelings? Or maybe nothing would happen. She would just kindly reject me and our friendship would either carry on like usual or fall apart."

There's so many possible outcomes that it annoys Semi.

His hands rub at his face roughly before he runs them through his ash blonde hair in annoyance. Out of no where he shouts out towards the lake. Tendō stiffens in his spot, eyes wide and worried that Semi would suddenly lash his anger out onto him.

But he doesn't.

Semi returns to his quiet behavior. His brows knitted and a deep frown etching onto his porcelain face.

"There's so much pain and anger within me. At myself. At her. At Ushijima." Semi whispers into the air. "And yet...I still care about her. I'm glad her feelings are returned. I'm glad...that." Semi's words fall into a silence. Tendō's the one to frown now when he watches the tears fall onto Semi's lap.

His deep frown and glossed over eyes is a painful sight to see.

The tears begin to slip past Semi's defenses and he's not fighting them back. He parts his lips open slowly to ache out the remainder of his sentence. "I'm glad that Y/N is happy." He moves his arm over his eyes to hide his watering tears. But Tendō still sees them trickling down his cheeks as Semi bites down on his bottom lip.

Tendō carefully places his hand on Semi's back, rubbing his hand in circular motions. "It's okay Semi. Let it all out. It's just me here."

Semi shakes his head at Tendō's offer. He didn't want to wail like a child. Not in public at least. It's not like him to do something like that. But despite his stubbornness, his emotions are louder than his mentality.

The pain in his heart is something he's never felt before. A loneliness he has yet to ever feel. Despite how Tendō is next to him, he still feels like it's him against the world. Semi lowers his arm from his eyes, his shoulders shaking tremendously as he's choking back from his tears.

"This shit hurts." Semi spits out between sobs and sniffles. "I feel like I'm drowning. Even the simple task to just breath is difficult." His hand clenches onto his shirt as his voice slowly loudens into a cry for help.

Tendō finds himself feeling completely useless as he watches his friend cry in pain. A pain Tendō couldn't physically take away.

"I fucking love her Tendō. I love her so much and yet..."

Tendō pats Semi's back gently. "I know...I wish I could do something about it Semi." Tendō turns his attention towards the lake. The sun glistens on the water of the lake. The weather is beautiful and it's perfect. But it's far from perfect for Semi. "Want to get some sushi? You can eat as much as you want. It's on me."

Semi shakes his head side to side. He wipes his remaining tears away from his face, inhaling sharply. "Thanks for the offer Tendō but I think I'm going to head home. I need to distract myself."

"I'll come with. I don't trust you being by yourself right now." Tendō slowly gets up and extends a hand to Semi to grab onto. Semi raises his eyes up to look at the spiky red haired guy.

"Despite how upset I was that you followed us...I'm glad you're here Tendō." Semi takes hold of Tendo's large palm. Tendō awkwardly smiles and ruffles his hair, pulling Semi up. "Also, don't tell anyone you saw me crying. That's embarrassing." Semi pouts slightly when he walks ahead. A lighthearted chuckle escapes from Tendō's throat.

The two leave the park in comfortable silence.