Meadow Of Roses (Dazai x reader)

Becoming better?

Y/N
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(Memory)

After that long moment with Dazai.. I back away, he just stands there.
"The hotel is so pretty!" I say, he smiles.
"Yeah it is! It's getting late. Shall we call it a day?" Dazai asks. I nod.

We don't even change, we just collapse into bed.. exhausted after everything that happened today...
You lay on your side.
You feel Dazai slowly wrap him arms around you.

"Y/n I hope I made you happy." He says softly.
"Of course. I was so happy today. Any time I'm with you I am very happy." You admit. You hear him lightly laugh.
"I see.." he says. His grip gets tighter, he nuzzles his face into you.

"Say.. y/n..?" He asks,
"Yes?"
"You never told me why you want to become a better person... What made you want that?" He asks,
"My mother." You say.

"Your mother? But didn't she pass long before you were mature enough to understand what becoming a better person was?" He asks,
"Before my mother passed I had a normal life, other than my brother. Everything to me was normal. My parents were fine. I was your average child." You explain.

"But when she died..." Dazai adds,
"Yes when she passed everything changed. My father took it hard like I've explained in the past. He would drag me to the cemetery everyday demanding me to bring her back. When I told him I wouldn't because it wouldn't do any good, Mother would not be Mother, she would be a empty vessel. He beat me with every bit of strength he had and told me I was 'demon'.. that's when my life changed..." you explain.

Dazai just listens.
"Is that when Mori took you?" Dazai asks,
"Not on that day no. My father started drinking non stop after that and being drunk all the time, he would walk down the streets screaming my ability saying I was demon that was he wanted to get rid of. I assume Mori heard because he came soon after and ask if he could take me. My father didn't even hesitate, he grab me by my hair and threw me out to him, shut the door and I haven't seen him again after that." You say, you take a breath explaining that all was exhausting.

"To answer your question though, I missed my mother's warmth a lot... I still do actually.. it was pure and innocent. She wanted to raise me into a good person for the world. So maybe I'm doing this for her and maybe a bit for myself." I say ending with an awkward/embarrassed laugh.

Dazai hands holds yours.
"I want you to choose what you want to become. Do it for yourself." Dazai says.

"Huh?"

"I want you to choose whether you want to become a better person or not." Dazai says.
"So y/n..." Dazai begins,
"What do you choose?" Dazai asks, he asks so softly and calmly yet its such a deep question.

"I..." you begin, preparing your final thoughts... you've already have it figured out just communicating it is difficult.
"I choose to become better. Like I've already said before." You answer.
Dazai rubs your hands.

"Why y/n? Why choose to be better?" Dazai asks.
"I just answered that question Dazai. But there's more to my answer anyways..." you say.

"Every since Mother passed. My world was so dark... I haven't had warmth in so long. I missed it. But than I met you... and you gave me the chance to decide what I want, you gave me the warmth I've wanted in such a dark place.. and that's when I become confident with what I want and that's to become a better person." You say.

"I'm glad y/n. I'm glad I could do that for you. That's what I've been wanting to do for you." Dazai says. He holds you tight, your heart races a bit.

"But now I know something else I want as well." You add,
"I'll give you anything you want. No matter the price. I want to see you happy with me. I want to be your warmth." Dazai says softly.

"You already give me all your warmth, you give me so much warmth, my craving for warmth and comfort disappeared when I met you. But what I want is for you to stay with me no matter what I choose. Whether I stay here in this darkness or leave. I want to be happy with you always." You say.

Dazai doesn't say anything for a bit...
"Ok... I don't have much value for the bright side or the darker side but I also want to be happy with you, so yes y/n I will. I'll always be with you." Dazai answers, your heart races at his answer, your cheeks feel warm.

"Thank you Dazai." You say, your tone drifting off as you slowly fall asleep.
"Always." Dazai says. You hold his arms that are still wrapped around you tight as you both fall asleep.

You wake up to the sound of thunder, you slightly jump.
You sit up in bed, you look around at unfamiliar scenery. It took you a bit to remember where you were.
You look back for Dazai.

There he is asleep.
You blush.
He looks so peaceful asleep, he looks so calm.

Usually Dazai seems like there's always something going on his mind. You can never tell what he's thinks but now,
He just looks so calm.

You lay back in bed, you play with Dazai's hair, you move his bangs away from his face. That always seems to bother you at times, yet you love it too.

You slide your finger down his face, taking the time to notice every detail about him. You can't stop admiring him though.
As you lay there, you feel blessed.
Blessed to have someone like Dazai with you.

You loop Dazai's hair around your finger. His eyes twitch, you immediately pull your hand back.
"Haha y/n you're so cute." He says softly.
You now flustered, sit up.

"The rain still hasn't stop." You say looking out the window and trying to change the subject.

"Oh no! I guess we'll have to call a cab, I certainly don't want our stuff to get ruined." Dazai says. He starts playing with your hair,
"Did you sleep well?" Dazai asks,
"Yes I did, how about you?" You answer,
"Well. With you next to me, I can always sleep well." Dazai says in a flirty tone, you blush and smile.

You guys ended up calling Chuuya... Even the cab driver saw how much stuff Dazai bought and said no right there.

"Jeez... I still don't understand why I needed to pick you guys up!" Chuuya complains.
"Oh cmon! You owe me!" Dazai explains,
"Look I get it! You don't need to rub it in how much you spoil y/n alright?!" Chuuya snaps back.

"Is y/n sick?! Did you drag her out in the rain for long?!" Chuuya starts questioning Dazai.

"Relax everything went fine! I understand you're jealous but please calm down, don't ruin the fun for y/n." Dazai says.

"IM NOT JEALOUS" Chuuya says,
"Careful now! You might get us into a wreck!" Dazai says, putting his hands on your shoulders for safety reasons.

"You better have gotten her a different bed at least. Be a decent man." Chuuya adds, you blush and look away.

"Nope we slept together!" Dazai says with joy, you look back at Dazai, you now extremely flustered.

"WHY YOU!!" Chuuya says, looking like if he wasn't driving he was going to strangle Dazai.

"I even wrapped my arms around her as we slept!" Dazai brags,
"Dazai!!" You blurt, extremely flustered.

"Y/n please tell me this is a joke...." Chuuya says calmly to you.
"I... I..." you can't lie.
"See? This isn't a joke, it's a 100% true!!" Dazai brags once more.

You look at Dazai, cheeks red.
"Aw you're so cute flustered!!" Dazai says, cupping your face. You know he's doing this all to piss of Chuuya.
You just got caught up in this mess though...
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