Meadow Of Roses (Dazai x reader)

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Y/N
———

Dazai made you work with him some more.
Everyday you started noticing more and more wrongs with the Port Mafia.
You're starting to realize just how dark and morbid the Port Mafia is.

...

But how can you become good..? You've killed so many people. You've committed so many crimes... how would this be okay..?
But Dazai did it.
Dazai probably committed more crimes than you.
You can do it too!

...

"No!" You say aloud. You can't handle all these choices right now.
"Y/n..?" Akutagawa looks at you confused.
You we're so lost in thought you forgot that Akutagawa was explaining the next task with you.

"Ah I'm sorry. Please continue. I was lost in thought." You say, with an awkward laugh.
"Getting lost in thought gets you killed.
We found the weretiger. A younger member here is taking care of that with Kajii." Akutagawa explains.
You freeze.
Atsushi..? They found him?!

"How did you find him?" You ask immediately.
"We have our ways. Now once we get him with us, we'll ship him off." Akutagawa says.
"There's a buyer who offering a lot for this kids head." Akutagawa explains.
No... Not Atsushi please...
He can't escape the Port Mafia. There's nowhere to run.

"I see.." is all you manage to say.
Akutagawa bows his head and starts to head out but then stops.
"I saw Dazai the other day..." he mentions, his voice small, he looks empty.
You raise your head.
"He seems to be with the weretiger. He's much different now. You probably won't be pleased with his new self." Akutagawa explains.

You can't tell him you've been seeing Dazai all this time. You just awkwardly nod.
"Oh.." you say quietly.
Akutagawa leaves your office
You slam your head on the table.

Why am I here..?
Why am I at the Port Mafia..?
You're torn.

Run away with Dazai..? Be with him. Start a new life...
Or...
Stay here. The place who always been there for you...
What is this new life you want anyways..?
What does it mean to be a good person..?
You told Dazai he could be a good person and yet you don't how yourself...
Would going with Dazai be safe for him..?

You don't any of these answers. You're scared. Yet you feel as if you can't stay here in the Port Mafia anymore...
They want to capture Atsushi.
Maybe it's because you know him, that it hurts knowing that they have him in their grasp.

You look out the window. It's still early morning.
Your phone goes off.
It's Dazai.
You are relief it's him. You would like to ask him for help. Though you can already assume his answer.
But he's always been so smart he'll know what to do.

Dazai: Let's meet after work today! I found a cool place to plan our deaths :D
Y/n: Sure...?

You shake your head and smile.
Classic Dazai. Classic.

After work, you wait for Dazai.
You admire the evening sky. It's always been so comforting for you.
"The night belongs to the Port Mafia"
You remember Dazai would say that as the suns goes down.
It was so true.

The sunset goes down. It's nighttime now.
You look around.
You've been waiting for about an hour...
"Huh?"
You open your phone.
No recent calls or texts from him ether.
You call him.

....
...
..
.
No answer.

Your heart starts racing a bit.
You remember how he disappeared from you already.
No.. no... not again...