Passion That Remains Deceitful

Part 19

I looked her in her eyes she was wearing a smile. She was  standing in the doorway. Guess she didn't  hear the conversation, on the  phone. Okay now for the moment of truth.

I put my hand that had, her phone behind my back. And started to move away from the nightstand.

''What were you doing?'' I tried to give her a smile, but my face was not cooperating and I just gave her a grin.

''Oh I am just watching some Kevin Hart movies. He is super funny .'' She was beaming.

''I just feel bad that we have been, so consumed with so much drama. I want us to talk about simple things like you. What are your plans coming this  months.''

Please just don't lie to me my hart would not be able to take it. Her whole face change, but I did not comment on it 

''Oh ,I have just been training .'' She gave me a forced smile. One last try, I thought to myself.

  ''So why do you, sound so uncertain? '' I said . ''Oh, this training has really taken a tow on me.'' After she said that my fragile heart broke into a million pieces. My breath was knocked out of my body. It is funny really if you think, about it  she thinks I know  nothing so she lies to me but in reality I know everything.

I stood there and looked her in her eyes as she continued to lie to me.

''Don't lie to me. Lie to me one time and you don't ever have to worry about telling me the truth again. I'm done with you. There will be no more chances..'' I seethed ''If you are going to lie, at least  make sure I never find out the truth.'' I  declared. I realized  my breathing, was increasing and I balled my hands into a fist. "I know about Sweden."

''Okay I AM SORRY!'' She screeched.'' The reason why I didn't  tell you. It's just I didn't know how to tell you.''

''Don't yell at me . Why don't you use, your words next time. The same words you use to ask out Ace. Or are your words only reserved for lies.''   I shot. ''I trusted you but your words mean nothing your actions spoke volumes'' I said hurt .

''I did what I thought was right." She leaned against the wall. "Now I know,  I  will have to do better can we please move pass this?'' She spoke. "I really don't want to fight."

'' Don't tell me you are sorry, cause you not. When we both know you are sorry you got caught. Explain  why you didn't tell me?'' She sat on the chair  and looked  down. She was staring at the ground.

" Wait! A week or day before you leave? You would  lie to me and say they called you, to give you mentorship at short notice. Then I was supposed, to jump with joy with you. Would tell me we should, not fight and enjoy our final days together."  

Please tell me, I got it wrong. 

I don't want to be right. I thought the last part to myself.

She took a sharp breath nodded her head. Again the air was knocked out of my chest . I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING. I was lost for words, we both sat in silent. Were we mourning our done friendship.

'' We all make mistakes don't act, as if you never regretted something you have done. You dated Tolan for a whole month, before telling me, you choose Tolan over me, you make my decisions for me like I am a child and  you would do things for attention, you throw rocks and hide your hands, when it comes to Lydia . Never once have I condemned you, never once made you out to be a bad person.'' She responded, while pointing at me.

She ran a hand, through her hair. '' The one time  I make a mistake  you condemn me ,you make me a bad guy and try and cancel me.''

I could not believe what I was hearing '' IF I AM SO TERRIBLE, WHY PUT UP WITH ME! ATLEAST BE HONEST. THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU FORGIVE ME WAS SO YOU CAN THROW IT BACK IN MY FACE! I FOUND OUT! SO LET'S NOT ACT. AS IF YOU WERE DOING ME FAVOURS.'' I took a deep, breath and tried calm myself down  I said.  " I am not going to sit here and explain myself to you, I stand by all my choices even if I paid the cost."

" Tell me the real reason you kept it from me?" I question. Deep down in side, I was looking for a reason to stay.

She sat down on her bed, and looked down. "I love you, but recently I stayed your friend, because I felt like I owed you. Because we have been friends for so long. You know we shared  history. I felt trapped.'' She never made eye contact. " I tried to tell you about Sweden, like that time you and Tolan caught me sneaking, into your room. I was trying to leave you a note."

I got up grabbed my phone. ''WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!'' She asked me.'' I know when I am not wanted." I walked out the bedroom door, and I saw Analia's mom. ''Hey baby, where are you going? And why are you guys arguing?'' She questioned . ''I  am going home, I will let Analia explain.''  Before she could say a thing, I bolted out  their front door.

I dropped down on the porch, something sat at the back of my throat  and something sat heavy on my chest .My breathing started to increase, and moisture  fell from my eyes.

 It hurts..... it hurts so bad, why will no one love  me and watch out for me? The way I do for  them. I know it might be stupid, but just once I would, love to be appreciated and not tolerated.

I pull out my phone,  and looked  rapidly through my contact list looking  for someone. I paused for a moment  and dialed the number. Please pick up  I need you to just ....please. 

''Hello thank you for picking up.'' I choked, I wiped my nose.

''Are you okay..'' I interrupted the person and said ''Please get me I ... am.. not okay.'' I broke out in sobs, I could not help it just happened. ''Okay I will be there.''

The funny thing is I felt Analia on the other side of the door. I wondered what she would do, then suddenly heard. 

'click'. 

Heard the door lock.

My heart shattered, like broken glass.