Five - Poetry

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I sat in the library reading a collection of poetry that I had found whilst sieving through the libraries shelves. I had begun reading a poem by Lord Byron when Colin walked in.

I shifted in my seat to turn towards him, 'How was your call upon Miss Thompson?'

'I dare say it went rather well,' he beamed. Colin had this brightness in his eyes that I had never seen before.

'Were there many other suitors?'

'Yes, quite a few,' he approached me slowly, taking a seat in the opposite chair. He did not seem threatened though, perhaps he thought he made a good impression.

Marina had quickly become the talk of the square. She had mysteriously arrived from the country and everyone wished to be acquainted with her. I was not surprised she had so many callers so early. She had attended the ball the night prior and caught a lot of attention from her natural beauty alone.

'You do not seem bothered by the other gentlemen?' I asked confused, if she had many suitors he would have to compete for her attention.

'Well, one of the other gentleman there thought it was a great idea to read his own poetry.' There was a pause and I raised an eyebrow at him. 'He was no Byron to say the least,' he criticised, motioning toward the book in my hands.

'Oh no,' I giggled.

'Penelope wasn't taken with his poetry either, to be quite frank no one with a fraction of interest in literature wouldn't have been impressed,' he laughed.

'That bad?' I could not believe it. I sat trying to imagine a gentleman in a fine suit reciting poor poetry making a fool of himself, and I inwardly laughed.

'That bad.' He told me bluntly.

'In other news, how was your morning? Any promising callers?' Colin leaned forward, his hands resting on his knees in anticipation.

'Few,' I spoke quietly. He gave me a quizzical look, his eyes begging me to continue. 'Anthony was chaperoning...' I didn't need to say anymore as Colin instantly connected the dots.

'You are never to find a husband with Anthony around.' He stated. 'I love my brother dearly but I fear he does not deem anyone worthy enough of marrying either yourself or Daphne.'

My voice got caught in my throat and I was unable to respond.

'Do not fret. I shall help you,' he smiled. 'Perhaps at the next ball, we could dance together, and get you out of Anthony's clutch. Giving you a chance to dance with the other suitable gentlemen there.'

'Are you sure?' I asked gratefully.

The thought of dancing with suitable gentlemen was exciting and I could not wait to make more acquiantances but a part of me felt guilty. A part of my brain nagging at me to decline his offer.

As much as I wanted Colin to help, a piece of me found comfort being by Anthony's side.

'Of course I am sure.'

-

Looking around there were many people strolling along the green.

I felt rather tall as I sat on the grey coloured horse.

As Daphne and Anthony rode in front, Colin and I followed closely behind them.

'Lord Berbrooke is harmless. There will be others,' Anthony spoke assertively to his sister on the horse beside him.

As I looked around at the people passing, a gentleman in a light blue overcoat nodded at me from below, moving his hat in a polite greeting. I smiled at him in return, Colin doing the same, whilst Anthony and Daphne had not noticed.

'Lady Whistledown has all but declared me ineligible, worthy of the affection of a detestable simpleton and no one else. Tell me, what others should ever want such damaged goods now?' Daphne complained.

Anthony looked at his sister in astonishment, 'You speak as if Lady Whistledown were to be held in higher regard than Her Majesty the Queen herself. You give far too much credit to some anonymous scribbler. These musings, they're not true.'

'Only they are true, Brother, and they are true because of you. You have managed to scare every worthy suitor away. Think of poor Elizabeth, the gentlemen were too scared to even look in her direction. Whistledown has merely reported it.' Daphne turned to give me a sympathetic smile, whilst Colin did the same. I instead took interest in the greenery, focussing on the old trees that surrounded us. That was until Anthony pivoted to look at me. I felt suffocated.

Anthony looked at me softly and then back to Daphne, 'I am looking out for you. I am protecting you.' He looked at me again, 'Both of you.' His eyes held an emotion I couldn't quite grasp, but his expression was guilty.

I couldn't help but gaze at Anthony, it was preposterous to entertain the idea of Anthony protecting me from other gentlemen because he was envious. After all, it was not like Anthony would ever take a liking to me, he had agreed to support me until I found a husband, that was all, but a piece of me still clung onto the idea.

Dragging me out of my thoughts, Daphne spoke, 'You have no idea what is is to be a woman,' she paused as Anthony wore a confused expression. 'What it might feel like to have one's entire life reduced to a single moment. This is all I have been raised for. This... is all I am. I have no other value. If I am unable to find a husband, I shall be worthless.'

I felt a pang of insecurity. She was right. Marriage was all we were raised for. The thought daunted on me, engulfing me like a dark cloud.

I needed to reevaluate my situation and allow Colin to help me. I could not entertain the childish idea of Anthony ever liking me. I needed to move on, even though there was nothing to move on from but a girlish, fleeting fantasy.

Looking ahead I saw Daphne ride off, leaving the three of us behind. The silence was deafening.

(A/N): Thank you all for the support on this story it means the world to me!

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