40 - Smile

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Keishin's finger tapped the counter, the other hand, tapped the ashes of his cigarette into the nearly full ashtray. It was a quiet day, like most days in the store, allowing his mind to fill with negative thoughts. Not once did he ever stop thinking about Yuki, though at times he wished he could. He wished he could drink away his sorrow but knew she would frown upon it, so he held back doing so. Even when his friends or mum popped by to distract him, his spirits never lifted.

Every few minutes, he would glance to his phone that sat beside his ashtray. Every time he got a message or a phone call, his heart would clitch as if it were on the verge of exploding.

On the evening of the accident, Yuki's father - Fujio - gave Keishin his number and in turn, Keishin gave him his.

'I understand you'll still be working many hours in the store and with the team, I'll try to be here whenever you can't, and if anything changes, I'll let you know as soon as possible.' Fujio told Keishin, and so he was always on edge waiting for an update.

Despite the many hours Keishin had to work, he still spent more time in the hospital than he did his own house. He became a recognisable face, one that would give him sad smiles every time he crossed paths with someone in the halls.

The cafeteria staff mainly consisted of ladies in their late seventies; they were sweet and always talked to Keishin when he went to get food. They asked him about Yuki and things they would do before the accident. He never realised it, but by the end of every conversation, he would leave the cafeteria with a soft smile, recalling moments with Yuki.

-

"Have you tried speaking to her?" The main reception asked Keishin as he signed himself in.

"Speaking to her?"

"Yeah, sometimes people can hear what's going on around them despite being in a coma. It could help wake her up, or at least, help her not forget."

He thought the idea was odd at first, talking to Yuki when she obviously could not respond. But, it felt as though it would be better than sitting in silence like he did most days. He sat beside her bed and held her hand in his like he always did. He stared mindlessly forward, trying to find the right words to say.

"It's been hard," he started, "coaching the boys without you." His eyes flickered to her face to look for a reaction of sorts but sighed when nothing changed. He looked back to the white wall, head leaning forward his lips pressing against her hand. "They miss you," he carried on, his voice slow, still unsure on how he felt talking to her when she was unconscious. "Though Hinata is doing well at keeping everyone's spirits up, he keeps saying 'when Coach Nishinoya comes back I'm going to show her how much I've improved'. He really looks up to you."

"I don't think I realised how much the boys cared for you. I've never seen them so...lost. Sometimes I wonder if they even want to train. I try my best to keep their motivation high but- but-" His voice cracked, he closed his eyes, his forehead falling to his hands. He bit on his bottom quivering lip.

"I'm trying to stay strong princess," he cried softly, his grip tightening on her hand, "but I'm so fucking scared that I'm going to lose you." He stayed there for a few moments. Letting tears fall down his face, his sniffles breaking the silence. Around his friends and the team, he kept on a brave face, even if they knew he was struggling, he tried his best not to show it. But when he was with Yuki, alone, he let himself break, he did not see the need to hide his pain.

He felt a slight movement in his hand; he quickly lifted his head, and his eyebrows rose in shock. He froze, his eyes bouncing between her hand and face. Then again, a minute movement made him jump to his feet and lean forward, his hands gently landing on her cheeks.

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