[Completed] Underrated and Human (NCT Member)

[Song Dimensions] Lonely - Jonghyun ft. Taeyeon

"Sorry, it's my fault,"

"Thank you, it's all thanks to you"

These were words you said out of habit

Even though I knew, you were struggling too

You probably think I'm a fool

"Sorry, it's my fault."

"I'll do better."

"I apologize, will see to it that it won't happen next time."

Ash thought once upon a time that maybe his first words were sorry. With it being the only words exchanged mostly with his parents, it was possible. But what made this possibility more echoing against his head, was the revelation that his parents didn't know his first words. They were too busy to wait for his words. Always in business matters, or focusing on their young boy instead of the newborn. So his first grasp on language was only known to a lady who was paid to be there for him. She left when he grew independent.

The language he knew was centered on discipline and approval. Maybe that's why the books whose pages held another world, held another moment, made him free. It was because he was uncovering what he never heard.

The words they all said, carelessly slipping to his own throat, were always so bitter. But it wasn't their fault that they didn't know he was so sensitive. How could they know what words make him bile when the only exchange of language was 'do better.' Or perhaps did they think he did not fully take words to heart for he did not understand? Maybe they believed he was too foolish once upon a time so they let their words just drip like water that wasted because of a loose faucet.

As years passed by, the next words he heard were worries. Were of tears and frustration he needed to learn by himself to empathize with. And he did, understood it too well for a boy who did not learn it from experience. The tears his sister held in, only he could listen in to them. The cold eyes his brother had, only broke for him. Well, not for him. But to him.

They both had locks on their eyes. Unfeeling he thought at first, but that was false. They were unfeeling to him. They only knew how to pour out to him, but not to have sight for him. Yet all he knew was to feel for other people. He thought that asking people to feel for him was selfish. After all, that was what he learned based on experience.

Oh young boy, so intelligent. So scholarly for learning, seeing to it that it must be for others. Oh, young boy, you should've learned that it should go both ways.

A question cut out from videos and interviews. His answer was always the same. Not understanding what was ever wrong with it. But it wasn't wrong, rather it was too hard to hear.