[Completed] Underrated and Human (NCT Member)

What's There To Celebrate?

There were flowers, tables and chairs, standard greetings, and an abundance of people. Colors spelled out the noise. Voices overlapped to push the buttons of a smile and joy. All the five senses were wooed, most especially one boy. The boy whose name day lands on hearts. "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Jaehyun!" It was a birthday party, his friends claimed. Everyone he asked told him the same. But unlike before, he isn't as naïve anymore. He knew now that people desperately cling to the added year of life and said the lines, "I'm a year older," for a reason. Because of how more and more people they know don't get to say the same.

September of last year took all his youth. His mind aged, wisdom came with tragedy and loss. There are no headlights of red nor flickering brightness. It was more like a bullet. So as his mind aged, his heart raced faster, knocking on death's door.

One car accident, unpredictable and unwritten, gave this blow quickly and left him to bleed out slow.

There were so many people here celebrating his life that he could care less. But he feels no guilt. The bullet lodged within him prolonged its stay and forced his nerves to go numb. Sparks of emotion were a distant memory, as far as Ash was from his side.

The boy with half a heart wanted nothing to do with today. What's there to celebrate if the one who made the 14th special was no longer here? Today, he feels the space in the spot beside him. The cold had taken its place for months, no warmth nor crevices of disruption its wake. His hands curled against the sheets, creating chaos. But never truly mimicking it as the reason behind it was still left in the black hole. So he laid and just wanted the day to pass by.

Taeyong and the rest knew about the space Jaehyung asked. The man craved for distance, maybe to elude that the gap between the living and the dead are similar to close doors. Yet, would they continue to give him his wishes if it hurts him? The papercuts to his actions of isolation and despair won't be a bullet train of farewell. But something as painful still. And he could not allow it to progress any longer. If Ash were watching, the boy would be crying to his lover's state. But also be stronger and rise against the current to bring him back.

Since Ash was not here to be that person, someone had to be. And Taeyong tried to take on the task without extinguishing the angel boy's role. Not as if he could, nobody could take the resting man's place.

"I know that I can't give you him. Even if I sell my soul, it's impossible." His hands shackled against Jaehyun's wrists, pulling him along. The walk was longer than any of them wished. It was as if the birthday boy had a bowling ball strapped against his leg. Body heavy to those who moved him. But none of them stopped pushing him to their destination. Because they knew once he'd seen it, it might bring him back his wings. "But I hope this would make up for it. Because he deserves to be remembered by everyone. We know our angel has to have a shrine somewhere he can also reach you."

His thin frame, gentle eyes, and light feet were nowhere in sight. But Jaehyun knew Ash was there. Choreography notes were hung on the walls, his baby's penmanship loud against the light pencil strokes. There were sentences and paragraphs about concepts and stories, all phrased the way he'd say it. And as he reads each one, the voice he fears he has forgotten comes back to him. The airy and light head tone Ash used in whispers and one on one dance tutoring. And when words were bold, he'd heard the heavy and sudden intake of breath of someone not here but living in his heart.

The room was not made for Ash for who rooms a dead boy. But it was a shrine, the closest staircase to a boy who once was here. A place he can remember the guardian angel he loves despite the long-distance of mortal realms. "Ash, I miss you so much it's unfair."