[Completed] Underrated and Human (NCT Member)

As We Break Apart... Do We Need To Destroy One Another?

He didn't leave his room for a week unless the company needed him in their grasp. His white shirt unified with his sheets, which never had time to be pressed, for he was rarely out of bed. And his eyes that had a tint of the blush he had in his cheeks once upon a time. But the gaze he gave to those who tried to seek him out had left them in deja vu. It was like looking at the boy he used to be.

The comments that held contempt still drew scars even if it was a lie. That's why those in the public eye still fall into the hands of the unkind. But there were different takes that gave the same result of hurt. In his headspace right now these lies magnified yet smeared messily to make truth and lies blurred between the lines. The best moments froze overtime held a certain grace and care to them. But they were easily tarnished and Ash understood how easy it is to see through that filter. The filter whispered in each photographer's ear that every scene was fleeting, so if it held beauty for this time then it could be worn out. Even if he hadn't studied photography, and almost let go of his hobby because of schedule, he now understood that filter more than ever. As he sits in his room, shielding himself from the world's face and staying online, it was easier to be unkind. Even if they looked great together, it was easier to deflect and misplace feelings. The smiles both shared, and the chemistry brewing from their gazes was beautiful. But if you used the filter of demise, you would think that the chemistry was fake. That it was forced. That it could've been better if they were gazing into another person's eyes instead.

So the comments stating how the company is riding on the ship between him and his soulmate, how it was only fleeting and lust that resided, and many more spiteful things, he didn't turn a blind eye on them. Instead of passing by, he wanted to get into their heads and hope to find an answer. He dived into that person's mind thinking he'd understand their intentions, find good intentions. When in reality he was making up reasons to believe there was truth and kindness in why they said it. He was fighting a lost cause. The same thought he had in his relationship, were they fighting for a love that would one day give in the weight of the world's needs? Would their love, one day, be a lost cause?

But the worst thing about his thoughts as he was attaching himself too much to their relationship. He started to compare his worth to how he was easily losing Jaehyun. Oh, Ash, darling why is your head forcing you to believe such lies?