The Truth Can Sting

Part 6

               "Where is she?" Will said since jays apartment sounded quiet.  Jay furrowed his brows, "in her room getting changed" he said.  She walked out into the hallway but stopped before walking out to greet them, she took a deep breath and bit her tongue.  She counted to three in her head and stepped out into the living area.  Jay and Will noticed her presence and turned around, "hey lil..." will started but shut himself up when he saw her legs.

           Jay and Will stared at her in shock and sadness, she didn't know where to look so she looked at the floor instead.  "Lily..." jay said while walking over to her.  She felt her eyes watering and a lump form in her throat but she held herself together, jay pulled her into a caring hug and stayed there for a minute or two.  Will took over from jay and held her tight, jay stared at the bruises on her legs.  He began to tear up himself so he sat down on the couch.  When will and lily finished their sibling hug, they both sat down on the couch with jay in silence, lily in the middle.  "I'm sorry" she apologised.  Jay and Will looked confused, "for what?" Will said.  She laughed at their cluelessness, "everything" she summed up.  Jay looked worried and Will was confused, "you've got nothing to be sorry for, what are you talking about?" Jay said while turning to fully face her, Will did the same.  "You know exactly what I'm talking about.  My addiction, my problems, my lies, I left you both, you wasted years of your lives on me just because I couldn't get my shit together..." she explained sounding numb. 

             Jay and Will looked at each other speechless, they were listening to their younger sister blame herself for everything.  "That's not your fault, none of it is..." Will said softly.  She shook her head in disagreement, "you don't gotta lie, I may have been young and stupid but I saw the way dad looked at me compared to you guys.  He saw me as a failure, a disappointment to the halsteads, I wasn't blind. He just didn't say it to my face..." she downgraded herself.  Jay shook his head and grabbed her hand, "stop that. I mean it lily, dad loved you more than you'll ever know, we love you and we have never blamed you, ever." He said sounding serious yet loving.  Will grabbed her other hand and agreed with Jay, "just because you were dealing with things, doesn't mean we hated you" he said with a smile. 

            She looked down to her bruises, "are you mad that I didn't tell you?" She said quietly.  Jay and Will rubbed her hands, "of course not" they both said at the same time which made her smile.  Jay stared at her legs, they were beaten but the bruises were yellow so it happened a while ago.  "What happened?" Will said pushing for answers so they could help her.  She frowned and slouched, "it only happened a few times, I guess a drunk dating a addict doesn't really go hand in hand" she said while smiling weakly.  She sighed and continued, "he was going through withdrawals and I was getting clean, he wasn't too happy that I was getting help and he wasn't improving.  He's a big guy, a lot bigger than me so there was no point in fighting back.  I let it happen, every time I felt like I was floating on the ceiling..." she explained the beatings. 

            Jay and Will felt useless, like they should've helped her even though they couldn't have.  The brothers didn't say anything so she spoke again, "the last time he hit me was the day I flew back to Chicago.  That was the day I broke things off with him, I guess he's found me though so..." she said with a worried glance.  Jay gripped onto her hand a little tighter, "I'm telling Voight..." he said sincerely.  She smiled and sniffled, "figured you would" she smiled at him.  Jay was shocked she didn't put up a debate but from the look in her eyes, she was tired, deep down she was exhausted.  They sat in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before lily pulled Will closer to her so she could put her legs on his knees and rest her head on jays chest.  Jay and Will smiled sadly at each other, she always used to hug them like this when she was sobering up. 

           They all stared at the TV for a while but none of them were actually watching what was playing, they were all too busy thinking about things.  "You should probably go home and get some rest" lily mumbled to Will since she was half asleep.  Will laughed, "I'm staying here tonight lil..." Will said sounding scared to let her out of his sight.  Jay smiled at him and nodded, he got up to go get some blankets and pillows and returned back to the couch with them in his hand. 

              They all got up so they could pull out the extension from the bottom of the couch, once the flap was fully opened it created a bed for them.  Jay put the pillows down and let Will sit down first then lily, then himself.  They were in the dark, it was peaceful.  Lily had snuggled up to jay and he just embraced the priceless moment, Will was laying on his back in case she moved from jay to himself.  They all fell asleep in that position until it got to around 3 am when lily got up from jay and moved over to rest her back on wills chest, she was half asleep but she wanted to spend time with both brothers. 

             Jay woke up about an hour before lily and Will did so he could sort out everything he would need to give to Voight.  He finished up quicker than expected so he walked back out into the living area to make a coffee in the kitchen, as he walked out he saw Will and lily still asleep against each other so he smiled and left them alone.  Around 15 minutes later, Will got up to change which also woke lily up.  Will walked into the spare room and changed but lily sat on the couch staring at the wall again.  "We're gonna sort this out, don't worry" jay said noticing her sadness.  She smiled at him and went to change as soon as Will came back out.