The Truth Can Sting

Part 20

TW- mental health

Lily watched her brothers leave silently before dr Charles started talking. "So how are you doing? Generally" he started with the questions. She looked at him truthfully, "not good" she admitted. He smiled at her and relaxed his body language which made her relax too, "they deserve better" she started the next topic. Dr Charles sat up in his chair ready to listen, "how'd you mean?" He questioned her. She sighed and looked down, "they shouldn't have to do this, you know the taking care of me and that. Even since I was 15 I made their lives a living hell, I'm ruining their social life. They should just leave me somewhere and let me sort myself out, they can make something of themselves that way..." she frowned.

Dr Charles listened to her carefully since he was dealing with guilt, "you know they love you though right?" He reassured her. She smiled sadly, "yeah, but I know they're sick of me too. I mean no one wants to help their younger sibling, I know I wouldn't..." she raised her eyebrow. Dr Charles frowned, "you know all this guilt you're holding inside, it shows me that you have the strength to carry on through recovery. Remember what I told you at the beginning? It's not an easy path but you're strong and I know that your brothers want to help you every step of the way" he explained. She smiled weakly, "I love them and I know that they love me but I can't make their lives even more of a burden anymore..." she sighed.

Dr Charles smiled, "is that how you feel?" he said while trying to move onto treating her. She nodded her head weakly, "it's like I'm screaming, and no one can hear, or maybe I don't want them to hear..." she looked off into the distance blankly. He realised he was dealing with much more than ptsd so he smiled warmly, "you know we can help you..." he said with a head tilt. She shook her head slowly, "you can't help me. No one can, I'm broken..." she said numbly. Dr Charles smiled, "you're not broken, you're just picking up the pieces and starting fresh. How about you get some rest and I'll come back in the morning?" He said while standing up. She looked at him with lifeless eyes, something he's seen far too many times before. She nodded and sank down into her bed.

Dr Charles smiled sadly and left, jay and Will were stood nearby waiting for him. "Is she okay?" Jay said with a concerned smile. Dr Charles smiled back and pulled the brothers into an empty conference room, "I wanna keep her over night, she's showing clear signs of depression and even though she's not admitting to any suicidal thoughts I wanna monitor her until the morning..." he explained. Jay looked at Will with shock, "depression...?" jay said sadly. Dr Charles nodded, Will sat down in the chair next to his brother, "how comes we didn't notice?" He said while staring at the floor in disbelief. Dr Charles stood up straight, "from what she's told me I think she's had it from the beginning, she's just mastered how to wear a mask over it. I think coming back home helped her a lot until the attack happened, now she's blaming herself" he explained that it wasn't noticeable to an ordinary persons eye.

Jay looked sad but he was confused, "blaming herself for what...?" He questioned. Dr Charles frowned, "I can't tell you exactly what she said because of HIPA but I can sum it up. She feels like she's taking away your lives by needing so much care and love in her life...Its common in victims like lily, they've been through so much that they feel the need to give back but they can't and it builds up a feeling of guilt and hopelessness." He explained it to both of them but mainly jay. The brothers stayed silent, "you can help her though right?" Jay said hopefully. Dr Charles nodded, "If she accepts my help then I can but no one likes to admit they need help, so it may take a few tries of talking to her to gain her full trust" he smiled at them.

Dr Charles left the brothers to have some time together, "she doesn't need this" jay said while rubbing his face in his hands. Will frowned and tapped his leg, "we just gotta keep standing by her, she's strong" he said before a minutes silence. Connor interrupted them with a knock at the door, "the scan results came back, she's got no physical damage but she's pretty run down so I wanna get a few saline bags into her system before she leaves tomorrow" he explained with a smile. The two brothers nodded and got up to go see lily again.

They stopped to watch lily in her room, she was sleeping, she looked so peaceful. They stayed outside for a few minutes before going back in. It was about 7 am by now since they came into the ER in the middle of the night, they sat with her for a while before Will left to call nat and tell her he would be taking the day off and jay left to call Hank and hailey to let them know both him and lily would need the day off. She was still sleeping by the time the boys came back, Connor was hanging up another Saline bag, probably her last one.