Fandom Oneshots [Mainly Marvel, Sherlock, and Good Omens, and House MD]

Kingsman: (Hartwin) A Rather Unconventional Story

So, this idea popped into my head at like 1 AM, so, sorry for the bad writing style and stuff.
Also, heads up. I don't commonly like to write (or complete) multi-chapter stories, so I doubt I will keep writing for this one, but it's still a possibility because there's a lot to work with when talking about POVs.

Description for this one-shot is: The first chapter of personal experience instead of a frilly, fluffy love story. Or, if Eggsy wrote about how he and Harry Hart met in the format of a romance novel.

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[All names in this story have been changed to protect identities as it is a true story that has occurred]

Chapter 1:

Since this story is based on my own personal experience instead of a frilly, fluffy love story that pops into some fucker's head at nine in the shower, I'll introduce myself. There's not point in creating (oh wow!) mystery about the point of view you're in.

I've always gone by a nickname, so I guess I'll call myself Excalibur or 'Bur as everyone calls me. Yeah, yeah, I hear you, fucking stupid nickname and makes me sound like a self-entitled idiot but its got its own story.

I am the most stereotypical chav you could probably meet, though, I don't do drugs because of my little sister (my wonderful flowah). So, "most" might be an exaggeration. But every time I walk by toffs in their high-and-mighty suits and pure leather briefcases, they wrinkle their noses on their high-held heads. Hey, I'm not gonna let some toff stop me from my Jeremy Scotts and flashy jacket. It's my trademark, bruv.

Yeah, so, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm one of the lowest of low in London in most people's eyes. I think I'd be fine with living in the estates, trying to find my way, but then my fucking arse-of-a-stepdad had to come in the picture after my dad died.

Fuck him.

That fucker will be the whole reason this story will be told, but still, fuck him.

I think that said story begins one night. Yeah, just one normal day and the sun had sunk behind the hill. I saw that abusive son-of-a-bitch's minions hanging in the pub and one of their cars were just shining in the sun. I turned to my friends and we eyed the car with matching smirks. Revenge was sorta the only thing on our minds. In retrospect, stealing a car and going joy-riding was probably not the best idea but pump it! I guess.

So, we stole the car. It was so fucking satisfying seeing those dogs barking but not being able to stop us. We road down London with a smooth ride and the night became the background of fun.

Then, red and blue lights flickered in the night and one of my friends' eyes widened just before all three of us heard the loud sounds. Most people say the sound is more like wee-woo! But it sounds stupid here so just know the sound was ear-splitting when you know you're the one being chased.

With the police now chasing us, we heading for a road where we could loose them. James, the one who had widened his eyes before the sirens, and one smart fucker (in the best way possible, I mean), gripped my chair. "'Bur, we need to fuckin' move!" He hissed. Good idea, James.

We zipped through alley-ways and with no problems that popped up as we made our get-away.

That was until a fox hopped onto the road. With no hesitation, I slammed the brakes with enough vigor that I could break off them off. The police car came to a slow stop, rolling on the slightly rocky road. As the police car made a stop, all three of us were huffing as he tried to catch our breath.

"Shit," Ryland had swore as he shuffled around. He could just feel the pain from his grandmum's chastising words. James nodded wordlessly as he could remember his parents' glare that was so familiar at times.

I watched the two shut their eyes to calm down the pain that they knew were to come, but I wasn't going to let them feel that pain. I had made a choice. "Get out the fuckin' car," I hissed at them.

There was a few seconds of pure silence. "What?" Ryland nearly shouted and both of them stared at me like I had grown a second head.

"Get out of the car, I'm taking the fall," I turned around to face both of them.

"'Bur, what the fuck?" Ryland gripped my shoulder from his seat.

"Get out the car," I said with such a serious tone that both of them knew it was best to scramble out the car. They climbed out into the darkness that created a mask that covered their identities.

The police officer slammed the door and for a faint second I closed my eyes.

How many months before I could see my flowah?