somewhere only we know | huang renjun

008 | somehow, he found it so easy.

!somehow, he found it so easy.

               I LIED AS STILL AS I COULD, EYES SHUT TIGHT. i figured if i didn't move for long enough, i'd surely fall asleep soon. it hadn't worked for the past two hours, but maybe now it would. right?

i was in for a long night.

turning over once more, my anxious thoughts were interrupted with a familiar knocking at my window. worried i might not be the only one in my house to hear it again, i jumped up quickly to open my curtains. i was met with the sight of renjun standing behind his own open bedroom window, arm aimed towards mine with another tiny stone in hand, ready to throw against my glass. once he saw me, he released the stone and waved. i waved back.

he crouched down, picking up yet another sheet of paper from his desk and holding it up to his window frame for me to read.

'are you okay?' it read.

i nodded, lying.

to my surprise, he pulled out another sheet from behind the one he had already shown me, as if he knew what i was going to say.

'are you sure?'

i sent him a small smile before nodding again, this time more convincingly. it was nice to know someone cared.

i watched as he bent down to lean his elbows on his desk again, scribbling on the opposite side of the paper. once he had finished, he held it up again for me to read.

'wanna talk about it?'

'how?' i mouthed to him, shrugging.

renjun wound his window shut before leaning forward and breathing against it to form a foggy mist against the glass. from there, i watched as he neatly carved out a phone number with his finger. so as not to waste any time, i quickly reached behind me and pulled my phone from its charger, punching in my passcode to copy down the number and send him a message.

hey

new phone, who dis?

i scowled up through my window to see renjun staring right back at me, laughing with a smug grin. i rolled my eyes, closing my curtains to get myself comfortable under my covers again.

come backkk
i'm sorryyy

sure you are :)

i am really!

i stared back at the white screen, twiddling my thumbs trying to think of what to say next. i had to admit, it was him who had carried the conversation today, not me.

so
do you need to vent or anything?
i'm here if you need someone

i'm sorry i've been cold to you when we're not at school

don't worry about it
i think i get why :/

he wasn't always like this
when my mom was here she could protect me
but she left me

well i'm here to stay, if that means anything
i'll try to protect you

that message caught me off guard. of all the other people in my life no one had ever been able to make me feel so cared for; but somehow, he found it so easy. it meant everything.

one day it'll be better, okay?
it's our last year of school this year and so you can move out soon right?

yeah i guess
i've thought about moving out of here for as long as i can remember

me too

but it feels like even if i moved 3000 miles away he'd still find a way to make my life a living hell
i wish i could just ignore everything he says
just for once
tell him everything that goes on in my head
but he's dangerous

whatever you do, please be careful
i got worried for you today

for some reason a new feeling came over me, like some kind of safety. i suddenly felt like i could trust this boy with anything.

renjun i'm scared
for all that to happen again
sometimes i wish it would all just end

he took a minute to reply. i was worried i had overshared already. luckily, soon my phone lit up again with a ding, signalling another message from him.

what's your biggest dream?

i stopped to think for a moment. honestly, my biggest dream was just to get out of here. i had spent so much time wishing i didn't have to live the way i did that i had never even stopped to consider what i actually want from my life. i settled with a generic answer.

i want to travel i guess

where to?

europe
i want to see the eiffel tower

so you have something to look forward to

hm?

a reason to hold on
if you think about everything you want for your future, you'll find a reason to want to get there.
so you can hold on right? until it gets better?

honestly, i lied about the eiffel tower. it was the first thing i could think of.
but he was right.

i never thought about it like that

does it help?

yea
it does
whats yours?

my dream?

yea

i want to live in a nice apartment next to the beach and paint everyday

i think you'd be good at that

its unrealistic but thats what dreams are
theyre not meant to be real
not yet, at least
but one day maybe

i think you'll get there one day
a reason for you to hold on too, yeah?

yeah :)

you're going to be okay, right?

i will be now ^^

it's late
you should get some sleep

i will
and you should too

goodnight y/n

night renjun
and thank you

always
🤍