somewhere only we know | huang renjun

014 | do you ever want to run away?

!do you ever want to run away?

               I STARED DOWN AT THE PAPER IN FRONT OF ME AND SULKED. "i'm literally never gonna remember any of this," i complained to renjun, who was sitting beside me half-tutoring-half-comforting me.

"yes you will," he reassured, pointing my eyes back down to the question. "chloro," renjun began explaining, "it has two Os and a C, which are round letters, right?" i nodded, hesitantly. "use that to help you remember chloroplasts have their own circular dna, okay?" he continued.

"uh huh," i hummed, still silently confused.

"and this dna is also found in...?" he asked, testing me.

i hesitated for a moment, but suddenly remembered what i hoped was the answer. "bacteria?" i guessed.

"yes! see, you've got the hang of it now. you'll be fine. let's move on to the next section." renjun moved his hands across the page, pulling the bottom corner of the paper up and turning it over to reveal the next chapter in my notes. before he released the page from his fingers, i stopped him, leaning my head down onto the table with a sigh.

"i don't wanna do this," i sulked. "i can't do it, i'm gonna fail again, jun."

renjun reached his arm around my shoulders, giving my back a rub to comfort me, and placed a soft grip on my hand. "you'll get there, i promise. i'm here to help you. besides, you have to do well so i can keep my reputation as the world's best tutor," he comforted with a laugh.

"yeah right," i smirked back disbelievingly. my half-smile quickly dropped again as i was reminded of the current situation. "i'm so tired, jun."

"me too, trust me. i can't believe i let you keep me up all night watching that dumb tv show," he teased.

"no, i don't mean tired like that," i sighed. "i'm tired of everything. school, home, i hate it all." it was quiet for a moment, and i could tell renjun was unable to find anything to say to comfort me this time. "do you ever want to run away?" i asked.

"huh?"

"you know, pack your things and just get out of here. not forever, but just to find some kind of relief. don't you?" i explained.

renjun shrugged with a heavy sigh. "yeah," he said, "believe me, i do. but my mom needs me to take care of her."

hearing renjun's words, i was reminded of earlier when i saw him and his mom fight in his bedroom. "oh," i paused. "how come?" i asked, trying to act like i knew nothing about it.

"she..." renjun's voice drifted off and i could tell he felt slightly uncomfortable talking about it, so i quickly felt bad for asking in the first place.

"you don't have to tell me," i told him.

"no, it's alright. she has some problems, that's all. our relationship, well, isn't that great," he let out with an awkward laugh. "she didn't mean to have me, me being born was an accident," he explained. "i'm not sure she ever wanted me around."

"i'm sorry," i said, trying to comfort him. "i should probably tell you," i hesitated, deciding to come clean. "the other week, i saw you both in your room and-" i stopped suddenly, not sure of the words to explain what i had seen. "she looked like she was going to hurt you... are you okay?"

renjun nodded slowly. "she was drunk," he explained. "she always is, that's why i have to look after her."

"seems like we both have it pretty bad, huh?"

"yeah," renjun scoffed. "i guess we do. maybe we should both run away together," he joked, lightening the mood.

"let's do it," i agreed with a smile, looking up into his eyes. they sparkled, reflecting the glimpse of the sun onto mine. "one day, you and me."

"you and me," he repeated back to me softly, returning the same smile.

after a moment, renjun leaned his face closer to mine, and i watched his eyes break their contact with mine as his stare shifted down to my lips.

"can i kiss you?"

the words fell quietly from his lips. i felt my stomach twist with nerves, but nodded my head slowly, letting his lips touch mine.

he kissed them slowly, and i kissed back as his sweet taste entered my mouth. he was gentle, and his lips were warm as they pressed against mine, his thumb  stroking my cheek with a loose grip on my jaw while he held me close.

a couple seconds passed and his lips released mine, pulling away. i stared up at him, fire spurting in the pit of my stomach before renjun broke the silence.

"you have no idea how long i've wanted to do that."