𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐒 - 𝐒. 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐀

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

EIGHT
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      Sayo lived in a world where each day was filled with figments of her imagination that would lay itself out in the reality that was right in front of her. It was a desperate attempt to mask the cruel fact that everything was not going to be okay – maybe it will someday, but not now, and she would kill just to run past everything and to be in that future that is hopefully better than the present one.

      If the past were behind us, the future is left to be covered by the unknown, while the present is a gift that we are currently living in, then why does uncovering each day do not feel like a pleasant surprise?

      If the present was a gift, then who or what decided to provide her these days each filled with wistful longings, midnights filled with rueful reminiscence of an undesirable past, with images overlapping each other rapidly that filled her mind which was already preoccupied with other worries and doubts?

      Sayo was not okay, and that much she knew. Although, she didn't know what to do about it.

      But then, there was this peculiar moment – like it was a mere speck of a jar filled with billions of dusts – and that was when she had first saw this young man that had weirdly wormed his way through her mind almost every time, that it was almost scary. The first time that Sayo had met Shinsuke, she felt annoyed at the way he looked a little too serious while being blunt at the same time. Then, it almost immediately felt different.

      There were no slow transitions or tedious process before her heart felt light compared the heavy feeling that deflated it the second before, and for that, she was left confused. How did her previous emotions completely disappear at the mere sight of someone she barely even knew?

      It was just a mere speck, or a percent over a hundred, or even two minutes of twenty-four hours. But she could never forget that one minuscule moment that seemed to cause a thousand ripples that impacted her life.
And for that, she was also confused.

      Sayo stood up from her seat with her lunch bag slung over her shoulders, allowing her feet to lead her towards wherever her mind decided to command it to go. And eventually, the scenery had become quiet as she continued to wander off, soft lilac hues that almost appeared to be white emerged in front of her.

      Her peripherals were swarmed with blurred colors of light greens, whites, and lilacs but the only thing that her eyes paid attention to was the young man who silently ate a few meters away from her.

      He sat peacefully of the dark wooden bench, eating his fish and rice slowly while looking down. As she stared at him, she could only feel annoyance and slight irritation because of her useless pride that held her back from vocally admitting that his last words to her were probably true.

      He was right and she was wrong; and that was something that she really didn't want to accept, but then eventually she did after countless hours of thinking about it.

      And despite her obvious annoyance towards him, she still decided to walk forward and occupy the empty space right beside him.

      He looks up from his food and his eyes land on the girl who sat beside him quietly, giving her a look of confusion and unnoticeable bewilderment – he had been sure that she wouldn't want to be in the presence of him right after he uttered those honest words.

      Sayo glanced up from her fish crackers and narrowed her eyes at him, trying to look angry though clearly failing before saying, "What? Don't look at me like that."

     Shinsuke only blinked before responding after a few seconds, "I thought you were angry at what I said? Why are you here, then?" He looked down at his food and resumed eating slowly whilst waiting for the girl's response.

      Sayo huffed, "You don't own this bench and I can eat wherever I want." She looked down at the small package of fish crackers in her hand, shaking it slowly and a bit nervously before mumbling quietly, "A-And, you were right."

      "Pardon?"

      "I said you were right!" Sayo exclaimed abruptly causing the boy who sat beside her to jolt at the sudden loudness of her voice, then she continued ranting, "You're probably so fucking right that it hurts to hear because honesty... I honestly don't want to hear the truth, at least not yet. I just want everything to be okay, why can't I be okay. I don't even feel like I have the right to complain-"

      Sayo was at the verge of releasing all of her pent-up frustrations, similar to the dense clouds that was starting to get heavier and heavier over time, then it eventually releases everything in the form of rain. And Sayo was about to do the same thing with the tears that would fall from her eyes at any moment, but the difference is – Sayo could not disappear.

      She could not be like those small lumps of clouds that would cease right after they rained.
Just like the clouds, Sayo would cry but she could not leave or remove herself from the image already engraved inside of a witness' memory – a memory of her being at one of her vulnerable states. And it was much more embarrassing because this witness was someone she barely even knew.

      She halted her words when she felt a warm hand land itself gently over the top of her head. It stayed there, unmoving, but it brought comfort to her in more than a hundred folds over just crying herself to sleep, and maybe because someone was there to listen to her – or even just hear her.

      Sayo looked down at her lap, gazing at the few dark spots that covered a few parts of her skirt, which was where her eyes directly stared across from. The wet spots were slightly warm as she felt it brush her leg slightly when she shifted in her seat, and each time more liquid would spill from behind her lids.

     "D-Don't look at me." She mumbled, using her long hair as a curtain to hide the face that she was making.

      Sayo then heard his voice gently say from right, though his voice sounded fairly breathy and hard as if he was having a hard time breathing, "I'm sorry for being insensitive."

      After a few long seconds, she nodded shortly with his hand still placed over her head.

      Shinsuke removed his hand slowly with a sigh and placed it over his chest of where it previously ached – once again, this scenario had just further proved his speculations about this 'soulmate' thing and erased a handful of his doubts. When she had first started to approach him, he could already feel a twinge of prodding in his chest, but when she had begun spewing out words that genuinely projected anxiousness at her own predicaments, he had instantly felt it throb harder.

      It was not directly a physical type of pain, rather, it was mentally painful to the point where he could literally feel the hurt in each sorrow or misery that clouded his mind. And it was much worse during the midnight compared to the day, and that made him want to just erase all of the sadness away.

      It would be good for her and especially for him. But the question is, how would he do that?

      And before he could even think about it, he looks at her and says, "I like you."

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first if all, before y'all
rage about him confessing
so early — soulmates are
naturally inclined towards
each other, i believe.

and don't worry, this is a
lowkey slow-burn story :>