Learning Purpose [Unus Annus Fanfiction]

Part 17- Closure Pt.1

(Pic Credit: https://www.intelligize.com/sec-reaffirms-2018-deadline-pay-ratio-disclosure/hourglass2-gray-2/)

(Tw: cursing as always, depression)

-Ethan

I'm shaking as I peer out the window at my hometown, gloomy and bland as it is. Compared to LA, it seems like farmland, a small, empty looking town that lacks the hustle of the city. However, I can't be happier to see it. Although it's still warm out, I can already see some hints of winter that we're lost in LA, and I'd never known how much I could miss the irritating snow around Christmas.

I get a sense of nostalgia from the ride here, recognizing almost every road we drive down, every old house, every word-down park, every leaf covered sidewalk. The memories flood back all at once and I am reminded of all the laughs I shared with my friends and family, all the tears we shed, and the last memory as we pass by the familiar park, of me wiping my eyes and turning away from a sobbing Ava, my silence disturbing the peace and stillness.

The memory sends shivers down my spine but I force it away as we reach my house.

--

I said hello to my parents, and my brother, who all surprisingly missed me and wanted me to come home. For the first time in a while, my parents seemed proud of me, and they told me they watched every single Unus Annus video I've posted so far, same with my brother. We caught up, and I got the gist that everything has been the same here since I left, although a few people moved away and one old lady down the street died.

I felt like I wasn't being looked down upon by my parents for the first time ever, I felt like I had "adult status" with them now. It gave me courage and I held my head higher after our conversation.

Now, though, it is back to an uncomfortable low as I make my way to the park, hoping that someone, anyone, shows up.

I texted Jack and Ava before I got on the plane, in a group chat we had from before. I hadn't noticed when Michael left, but it had been sometime a few months after I left. Only Jack responded to the text, with a simple and blunt "ok".

I pray someone is at the park, at least one of them. I know my heart would break if I can't see them before I die. If I didn't all of this would have been for nothing.

As I think about it, everything I've done may as well be for nothing. They were right, 11 months ago. Their friendships should have meant more to me than they did. They did mean more to me than I thought, at least. They were my backbone, and I left them. Guilt runs through me and I realize that there's hardly any reason for them to come here today. They've probably moved on, and they don't want to be reminded of my existence, the past that it was so hard leaving last time.

I reach the park, breathing in the cold air. The cold is refreshing from the constant LA heat, but that doesn't make it less cold.

When I get there, the park is empty. No one to be seen. In fact, it almost looks abandoned, like no one has set foot on it since I left. That idea sends shivers down my spine as I lean against one of the slides, huddled in my jean jacket.

No one's coming.

I look up at the grey sky, exactly as I remember it. The sun shines blearily through the clouds, sometimes peeking through gaps but always retreating back under the condensed forms. I lean my head back against the slide, closing my eyes.

No one's coming.

Shut up. They have to come. It's my last chance.

If they don't come then I'll never see them again. Our relationships will have ended the moment I said I was moving, and that can't be. I refuse to accept that as a reality, but there's not much I can do if none of them even show up. I sigh, trying to keep from crying.