"sungie? are you feeling any better?" chan asked as he entered the younger's room after knocking. jisung shrugged, not wanting to answer.
the aussie sighed, placing the tray of food down onto his bedside table. "hyung?" jisung started while fiddling with his fingers, not daring to look the elder in the eye.
"hmm? what's the matter sung?" the elder hummed, looking at the younger softly.
"i-i think–" he started, stuttering. "hm? what was that sung?"
jisung took a deep breath, then sighing loudly. he looked up at chan, and without even batting an eye, he spoke. "i want to quit music."
chan was caught by surprise, eyes widening as he eyed the younger. "sung? this isn't like you–"
"i said, i want to quit music," he emphasized his sentence clearly, making each and every word sound firm and as if he had made his mind up very clearly.
changbin burst into the room, almost tripping over the piles of tissues and clothes that were strewn on the floor of jisung's room. "you what now?" he blinked the tears that were slowly starting to form in his eyes away. "sung, snap out of it already, please?"
"look sung, i know they–" "no! you don't know anything. what do you know about me? i said i'm quitting music, cant you just accept that as my family? or friends at the very least?" jisung broke down in tears, burying himself under the covers of his bed.
changbin breathed in harshly, feeling helpless as he didn't know what to say or how to help the younger. "no, we can't accept it. we won't accept it! you cant do this sung, we won't let you. making music has been your dream for god knows how long, are you just going to throw it away like that? making music makes you happy, it makes us happy to be able to work with you. music brought the three of us together and the jisung i know would never throw something he loves so much away at the cost of anything at all," changbin tried, wiping away his tears, his eyes turning red and stained with tears.
at this point, both chan and changbin were desperate to persuade the younger.
"sung, i know things are tough for you right now but please, please don't do this. we'll listen to everything you have to say, just please tell us what's going on when you're ready to. please?" chan pleaded, the two of them practically on their knees begging.
all of a sudden, the room grew silent except for chan and changbin's soft sobs. "s-sung? you alright?" the aussie asked.
jisung pushed the covers off of him and stood up from the bed with a lifeless expression on his tear stained face. "just leave me alone."
and with those four words, their hearts broke. it broke them to see how hurt jisung was, but what broke them even more was seeing how they couldn't help the boy.
the youngest looked down at the two that were practically bawling on the floor in front of him. "you want to know what's going on? fine."
the two elders looked at the brunette, hoping he would be able to confide in them and let his worries out. "go ahead, we're listening sungie."
jisung took a deep breath, scoffing a little. "i hate this job," the two's eyes widened.
"i hate how we have these stage names and how we can't even do the bare minimum of revealing our identities. those three people that everyone loves but no one actually knows. when people look at j.one they go on and on about how talented he is, but what about me?
when others look at me, they see me as trash whos just wasting the earth's oxygen, am i wrong? why is it that i'm considered trash when j.one is practically everyone's idol even though we're the same person? i cant stand this anymore, these stupid identities are a headache, how many more identity crises must i have in order to leave this job? i'm going insane here and i feel fucking helpless, so if you don't mind me, just accept it and leave me alone."
they were stunned. "sung–" "dont 'sung' me, i'm tired of all these different nicknames people use. i'm han jisung so just call me jisung and leave me the fuck alone."
he was doing it again. shutting everyone out like he did, just that this time, he was shutting out the two people he called family. it hurt him to do so, but he felt as if he had no other choice. the outcome would always end up the same either way. someone had to get hurt, it was just a matter of which one of the three of them it would be. that was how his mentality was, and the real jisung didn't have a say in it.
"okay, we understand. just please get some rest okay? jisung? we'll come in later on when you're comfortable," chan sighed in defeat.
jisung pushed the two out of his room after much struggle and their failed attempts at trying to convince the younger that he was more than any of the stupid things he was called. he plopped onto his bed, ruffling his hair, tears rolling down his cheeks once again.
he picked up his phone for the first time in a week, opening minho's chat and sighing.
> @quokkasung is online !
sungie
hi
> @leethink is online !
min
sungie!
i missed you
are you feeling any better?
sungie
yeah
anyways
min
what is it sungie?
sungie
lets just stop...
min
?
stop what?
sungie
i know you probably can't
stand me and that you're
only friends with me because
i'm j.one
but you also probably won't dare
to tell your idol that so i'll say it first
lets stop talking
min
no sung no
you're amazing
whether you're j.one or
not, i'm really lucky to
have you
you're an amazing person as
a whole and i love talking to you
and having our weird conversations
sungie
you're just saying that...
min
i swear everything i'm
saying is true okay sungie?
you're more than you think,
you shouldn't put yourself
down as much as you do 🥺
sungie
sure
min
i honestly don't know how
else to convince you sungie
but i hope these words of
affirmation help because i
genuinely really really care
about you sung
you're amazing the way you
are and no bully talking shit
about you is going to change
my mind about you
sungie
i wish |
i w |
min
look sung
i wasn't going to say this
this soon but if its able to
convince you then i'll say it
i tried my best to convince
myself that this wasn't the case
because of shit i've been through
in the past but i'm afraid i just can't
convince myself that anymore
typing...
sungie
??
3:25 pm
sungie
it's been almost half an hour minho
never mind
should've known you had nothing
to say
stop bringing my hopes up you asshat
quokkasung has blocked leethink
min
i really like you sung like
A LOT and i cant even try to
argue that i don't anymore
because i've really come to like
you so much and i'm not just
saying this to get you to like me
back or anything, i just hope you
know how much you mean to me
through this. i wouldve planned for
a more proper confession but i just
hope that you understand your
worth and that you feel better soon.
you mean the whole universe to me
sungie and youre literally
everything. no bully will convince
me otherwise. i really hope that
you feel better soon (: always
remember that i love and
appreciate you okay sung?
ilysm x
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oh fuck
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IDENTITY | minsung
Fanfiction@quokkasung started following you ! - @quokkasung: hey! >:( @leethink: ? @quokkasung: no follow back? :< @leethink: i'm- in which an anxious and insecure jisung wishes to be loved by others for who he is, by defining himself by the number of likes a...
