Maybe I hate you Maybe I don't

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Charlie POV

Sitting in the car on the way to my brothers funeral with his casket trailing behind us isn't the most comfortable ride I admit. I sat quietly not fidgeting or playing with my sticks for the first time, I just looked out the window thinking of Tommy. I know it sounds lame but I know that he'd want me to move on so I'm able to have fun with my life. Right now I think I need some closure, I'm not going to move on or forget him but I'll be able to feel him looking after me.

As soon as we were out of the car my mom started to instruct people of the placement of each flower vase should be. I just sat down in a chair zoning out while looking at the stage. The casket was slowly moved onto the stage by two men that I didn't recognize and the lid wasn't removed and behind it there was a big hole ready for my brother to be buried in. There was a podium on stage for us to speak our last few words for him and many chairs in front of the stage for friends and family.

My mother eventually sat down in her black dress with a plain, expressionless and tired face. I could see that her eyes were puffy and red and her face had more wrinkles showing up from the stress and lack sleep. My father sat beside her rubbing her back but a few minutes later family, family friends, or Tommy's or my friends started to arrive so they got up and started greeting. Of course I had invited Mo, Olivia, Stella, Wen and well ya Scott but as each one of them showed up I noticed that of course Scott had brought Victoria. I was okay with that even though she was my ex-girlfriend but I didn't invite her.

I did a bro hug with the guys and gave all the other girls hugs too but Mo's lasted the longest. They all dressed appropriately in black and Stella was even wearing a dress which I'm sure Mo forced her into. My mother greeted her friends with a smile but eventually broke down when she greeted Tommy's friends. Eventually everyone arrived and sat down, Tommy's friends, and our family members were in the front with my Lemonade gang behind them.

My dad started his speech up since my mom was too teary, "Hello everyone, I'd like to talk to you as friends and family of Tommy." He nodded at us, "I think that we all know that Tommy's death was unexpected but today I want to talk about how he was a great son. Even though his grades weren't so great this year, and yes I know that Charlie I just want to wish him well. I would also like for him to know that his soccer playing was superb and even though sometimes it mattered more than his studies he still managed to balance them out and be able to get into a wonderful college.

He looked straight at mom and I, I'm pretty sure he was tearing up which is really rare, "I want him to know that we will continue to remember him forever, even when his mother and I are old or gone. Even then his brother will remember him. He cast a forever shadow with great pain and sorrow that will cause much melancholy. Sometimes we will break down and block each other out but I'd like to ask each and every one of you to help us go on with life. I'd most importantly like for my wonderful son to know that I'm not the happiest father in the world but I'm a pretty proud loving father. Thank you everyone, now if my wife would come up to the podium and say a few words."

She walked up slowly and my father stood behind her for reassurance as she blew into another tissue. She looked straight at the crowd with her red puffy eyes, seeing her like that I wanted to look away but I stared at her full on and made myself listen to my mom's pain.

With a deep breath she started to speak, "hello everyone, as the mother of the son who has passed on I'd like to say just a few words about something different than my husband. This may sound like ranting but for me I need some of you lucky people to understand my pain. I could ask for help or talk to people but for now I'd like to tell you this." She paused for a second.