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18. bathroom tile

You reached the hotel shortly, checking your phone as you entered the lobby.

Tomathy| Fin's asking if we could all get lunch at the Blue's Kitchen tomorrow, that work for you?
Y/n| sure
Y/n| how's tubbo?
Tomathy| Still not talking to me :/
Tomathy| I fucked up. I really don't know what else to say to him
Y/n| i wish i could help, but i really don't know, i'm sorry

Tommy didn't respond, the time stamp appearing under your message to signify that he had read it.

You groaned, turning off your phone and tossing it on the bed as you entered the room with your aunt.

You changed for bed, not bothering to check your phone once, keeping it face down while you plugged it into your charger.

Tonight your bed felt more uncomfortable than usual. The sheets were paper thin and the mattress was uneven. Your pillow was ridiculously flat and the faint flash of the passing cars from the window continued to catch your attention along with the hum of the heater next door, which in the silence, seemed almost deafening. 

How were you expected to sleep like this? You squinted your eyes together, desperately praying for sleep, not hearing the faint buzz of an incoming call as you finally forced your consciousness away.

Bzzt Bzzt.

1:05 A.M.

BZZT. BZZT.

Roughly pulling you out of the sleep you had practically begged for, you cringed at the faint buzzing that was causing your nightstand to vibrate.

You flung your arm out, blindly grappling for your phone, squinting when the screen lit up your face as you drew it closer to you.

Incoming call: Dad

"Hello?" You whispered, voice slightly hoarse from lack of use.

"Y/n! I've been calling you and your aunt for the past hour, it's about your brother..."

You sat up in the bed, eyes widening.

"Hang on."

Your feet kicked through the covers, softly landing on the carpeted floor as you silently crept into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind you and flicking the light on.

"Sorry, what's going on?" You asked, watching your reflection in the mirror.

"Remember the day you left, your mom and brother went to the hospital because your brother got sick? The doctor had his suspicions then but said he was probably fine. Well your brother has been coughing on and off since, and last night he coughed up blood and complained about stomach pain again, so we took him back to the hospital,"

Your head spun, feeling your heartbeat quicken. You closed your eyes and sat on the bathroom floor. The ceramic of the bathtub was cold against the back of your arms as you leaned into it, grounding yourself.

"He has some type of blood clot in his stomach and-"

"Is that y/n?" You heard your mother's voice faintly through the speaker.

"M-mom?" You hadn't heard her voice in weeks, you didn't realize how much you missed it until your eyes began to tear up a bit.

You knew both your parents loved you and that you were lucky to have them. You had been reminded of this your whole life. They were your parents! You loved them! At least you had always been told you did, always responded to their "goodnight!"s with "I love you!"s, always saw them as two of the best people in your life, but you had to grow up eventually. You had to start seeing through the cracks in the smiles at some point. You had to start realizing that maybe they didn't know everything, maybe they weren't invincible all the time. They had stopped feeling like the heroes you had always looked up to as a kid. They had lost their air of perfection as they both started working later hours, hiring sitters for you instead of being home. They told you everything they did was for you. Missing your piano recitals so they could attend their meeting that they "just couldn't miss" was for you, even if you couldn't understand it right now. Being the only parents who couldn't make it to your sports meets was for you. Being the only parents who didn't show up for the 6th grade science fair was for you. 

Even if they got time off, they fought. They argued and screamed at the other for not understanding. They yelled about how they worked harder and how the other had no idea. It became all you heard from them, so you had tuned it out, gotten used to turning on a video game, and blast your music through headphones, letting the game take you somewhere else. Anywhere else. 

You couldn't remember the last time you had had a genuine conversation with either of your parents that wasn't about your grades. The policy in your house had always been that if you kept your grades up, you were allowed more freedom. It was a simple enough rule you had always followed. You kept your grades up and kept out of their way. It had always been like this. Always been like that until your brother came. Your brother was born and deep down, you knew this was their way of trying to fix how broken your family had become. When you were a baby, your parents had never fought. Maybe a new baby would fix them. Maybe a new baby was the answer. Maybe this little child that they brought into the world would be a life that would save theirs and that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't fuck up his. 

"Darling! Did your father already tell you?"

"Yeah, I'm really sorry to hear about-"

"Wait wait, I haven't told you everything yet," Your father interrupted. "I was calling to say your brother's really sick, so we need you home. Immediately. Your mother and I have both taken time off work to be with him right now and we think you should come back too. I booked you the next flight back, it leaves at 8:00 A.M. Please thank your aunt for taking care of you, I've already venmo'd her some extra cash for it as well. I'll see you soon y/n."

"We love you!" Your mom added quickly before the dull tone signifying the call had been ended rang through your ears, echoing in the silent bathroom.

You wanted to scream, this was so utterly typical of them, pulling you into a situation they thought was best without letting you get a word in to defend yourself. They always had to do this, always had to take something you were enjoying and ruin it. You had sent them pictures of you at Big Ben with the boys and they had liked your message. You had texted them about your day and they had sent a thumbs up. None of it had really bothered you until now. Now when your perfect little baby brother had a stomach ache you had to leave the family you actually loved.  You felt closer to Tubbo than your actual brother. Philza was more of a father figure to you than your own dad. These people actually cared about you. They were always there for you. They were your family, the family you wanted to stay with forever. They were your chosen family.

You squeezed your fists shut, feeling your nails press into your palms. You released your right hand and held it over your mouth, trying your best to muffle the silent cries you were trying so hard to contain. You pinched your eyes shut, desperately trying to hold back the tears that were screaming to be let out. Slowly, a hot trail traced its way across your cheek. Tears came all at once, slowly burning at your face as your throat became choked up, still attempting to hold it back, keep it in, stay silent. Losing your breath, you let go of your hand, let go of your mouth and let your body silently fall against the floor, drawing your knees close to your chest and wrapping your arms tightly around them as you lay on the cold tile, barely hearing the low hum of the heater next door. Your mouth gapped and your breathing became ragged as the tears raced down your face, now blurring your vision. You could barely hear your own sobs over the deep pounding in your ears. 

Slowly, almost nervously, someone opened the bathroom door.

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