Chapter 16 - Withdrawal

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The weight of the security door pulls it shut with a sharp and heavy clang. Steve stands just outside them, worry scrawled across his face. You push past the arms he holds outstretched, instead shoving the first aid kit into them as you head to the elevator doors.

"Y/n," he says. "You shouldn't listen to-."

"Don't," you warn. You know he heard everything from his seat in the hall.

Your lip trembles, but you keep yourself together as you order JARVIS to take you to the lab. Steve arches a confused brow but remains quiet, following you inside the elevator in silence. When the elevator slides open, you spot Tony and Bruce through the glass, each leaning over a lab table as projections and holograms fill the air above them. They both glance up as the lab doors slide open.

"Hey squirt, how'd it go?" Tony asks, only paying you half of his attention as he twists a screw into place. "Did he give you any trouble?"

Your stomach churns, and suddenly you feel the need to vomit. But you choke it back, and keep your answers short and to the point. "He's been cleaned up," you say stiffly. "He wasn't working alone, but whoever was helping him isn't anymore. There's no further threat at this time."

Tony and Bruce stand frozen, jaws dropped as they process the news you've just given them. 

"Uh, okay...now just wait a damn minute," Tony finally says, setting down his tools. "He told you all that? Just now?"

You nod.

"And it was that easy?" Tony says, narrowing his gaze suspiciously. 

"Tony, man, come on," Steve says from over your shoulder. "She's telling the truth. I was there."

Tony's gaze flits between you and Steve for a moment. But then he simply scoffs and picks his screwdriver up once more. "Well that's great, squirt, well done! Hercules will be thrilled," he says as Bruce still stands there, confused.

But you're not done. 

You clear your throat - in part to get Tony's attention again, and in part to force back the tears brimming in your eyes. Tony glances up once more and arches a brow.

"What?" he asks. "There's more? Oh, let me guess. He wants a thank you card with his room service for such gracious cooperation. Well you can tell that motherfu-,"

"No," you interject. "I...have a request."

"Oh," Tony says. "Okay, uh...sure, squirt. Shoot. What do you need?"

"My mission is complete and I'd like to formally petition to return to S.H.I.E.L.D," you continue. "Until you make a formal decision on my transfer I will no longer participate in training activities and will remain in my quarters."

You don't wait for an answer. Instead you turn back toward the elevators, unwilling - and unable - to stay composed for much longer. Not as Loki's words sit so heavy on your chest it makes it hard to breathe.

"Hey, woah, wait a minute! Y/n, hold up!" Tony shouts, stumbling over various machinery on the ground trying to catch up with you. But you're already in the elevator.

"Main hall, JARVIS," you say as the doors slide shut. As you shoot up the elevator lift, the tears begin to fall. Trying desperately to hide the evidence, you wipe your cheeks and head straight to your room, locking the door behind you.

"It's not true," you say in a broken, tearful whisper as you kick off your shoes. "I...I'm not stupid. I'm not...naïve. I did care." 

As you cross the room to get undressed, you catch a glimpse of yourself in your mirror - dark circles beneath your eyes and bruises still on your neck. 

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