Unfettered (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 8 - Pretending

You keep your tears hidden in the corners of your eyes. At least until the elevator doors close. As soon as they do, you let out a pained gasp.

"Fuck," you whimper, grabbing the wall for balance as your other hand flies to the back of your neck. The ghost of Loki's iron grip has left a searing sting behind. And when you pull your fingers away, they're stained by tiny flecks of blood from where the angry, raven-haired God had ripped your hair out by the roots.

The tears of pain you had concealed finally slip from their hidden places, tumbling down your cheeks as your skull pounds.

"And what makes you think I'll be here long enough to get through them, darling?"

Loki's voice echoes in your aching head. And you try to ignore the illogical disappointment that gnaws at you as you recall how the term of endearment had dripped so thickly sweet from his tongue. You try to forget how it had sent a thrilling buzz up your spine - one that blossomed into something warm and soft in your chest. Loki hadn't intended anything by it. 

Darling.

Yet he had said it so effortlessly that for a moment, you thought he might have meant it. That you might have been making progress. That he might have appreciated your gesture of kindness, and had started to see you as something other than 'human' or 'mortal'. 

But the tears on your cheek born from the pain in your skull reminds you otherwise.

I was stupid, you think to yourself, angrily wiping your tears away with the sleeve of your tac suit. Being kind won't work.

When the elevator doors finally open back on the common room level, your eye immediately catches Steve's. He stands awkwardly at the kitchen table, elbow-deep in a giant, plastic tub of cheese puffs. You quickly look away and keep your head down as you head for your room, hoping that Steve is too busy fishing for snacks to notice you. But footsteps from behind tell you that, much to your chagrin, Steve has abandoned his cheese puffs.

"Hey, Y/n," he calls out.

You bite back an irritated groan and paint a smile on your face. "What's up?" you ask, stopping just short of the bedroom door you've already pulled halfway open.

"You looked upset coming off the elevator," he says, rubbing his hands together to knock off as much cheese dust as he can. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," you shrug. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because you were just on Loki's floor," sings Natasha as she slips out of her room - the one right next door to yours. "He tends to make things not okay," she says, her gaze searching your face as she leans against the wall. 

"You were on the secure floor?" Steve questions, casting you a concerned glance. 

You ignore Steve. "How could you possibly know I was up there?" you ask, instead challenging Natasha. She eyes you up and down, arching an obvious brow. "Oh," you say, looking down at your own body. "Right, the tac gear."

"Wait, were you alone?" Steve frowns, hands perched on his hips as leftover cheese dust leaves smudged, orange fingerprint stains on the bottom of his white t-shirt.

"No, Steve," you shoot back, rolling your eyes. "Tony knew I was going up there."

"And he let you go? Alone?" Steve questions. "

"God, Steve, relax," you huff. "I wasn't by myself. Thor was with me."

"Thor left ten minutes ago," Natasha chimes in, picking at her nails as if bored. 

"So you were up there alone!" Steve accuses.

"Not the whole time!" you sigh, exasperated. "It was like, maybe five minutes. Would everyone calm down? It's not a big deal!"