Chapter 8: Again?

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There was one person in my life who knew how to deal with, lets just say, ruined relationships. Yes, you are correct, my father. Poor guy hasn't had one stable relationship in his life.

When I saw him at the hospital, I didn't know how to approach this conversation. I just walked up next to him and kinda walked with him for a while. Not saying anything, just a weird look on my face. My dad didn't say anything, then he looked at my face again, knowing exactly what it was saying.

"You still love him! Girl it has been over a month by now right?"

"You're still in love with mama, what has it been thirty years? You are not one to judge."

"Touché. He has a new girlfriend now right? McKinley, that won't last."

"What makes you think that?"

"It's what happened to me with Lexie. She only dated me to try and get over her feelings for Sloan, it didn't help her and just hurt me."

"But he broke up with me. Why would he hurt me, just to get with another girl and break her?"

"Lexie broke up with Mark and still did it. And to be fair you can break up with someone and still have feelings for them." With that he walked away. He was referring to the fact that he was still in love with his ex-wife even though he was the one pushing for the divorce.

I bumped into Bailey who was chasing Sarah. She was crying. Did they break up? He looked into my eyes and stopped in his tracks. We shared a small moment, we seemed to do that a lot, and he kept walking.

I saw Ellis right after and was so confused.

"Did they break up?"

"I don't know, probably. He has been saying he didn't want to be with her for a while." She rushed off after that. I think she had a big surgery to study for.

The next morning at roughly 5:03 am Ellis comes running into my room with Leo closely behind her.

"Why didn't you tell us?!" Ellis was screaming excitedly, way to early.

"What are you talking about?" I was barely awake.

"Bailey! He was nominated for a Catherine Fox award! Wait did you not know?"

"What-no-how-would-how would I know?"

"Umm, it's your award..."

"Right, kind of not really. But how do you know?"

"Bailey told me and Liam told Leo."

"Hold on, I didn't even know he was doing research."

"How?"

"I haven't talked to him in over a month, and even back when we did talk we barely talked about work stuff."

Just then my phone rang. It was my father. That was probably the call that was going to tell me about Bailey.

Later when we went to the hospital there was a huge champagne toast and party all for Bailey. I saw my dad and he came over to me to tell me a story.

"Hey so one time when you were maybe seven or eight we were here at the hospital and it was right after Meredith won her second Catherine Fox you told me-you said 'I want one of those when I grow up' and I told you that you couldn't get one and you thought that I meant that you weren't good enough to get one and got all upset at me. I explained to you what I meant and you said 'So even if I'm the best I can't get one because of grandma?"

"What's the point of this story, cause right now you aren't making any sense."

"All i'm saying is that you've been jealous of that award since you were a child."

"Jealous? No, I'm not jealous of Bailey."

"It's radiating off of you, you're not very good at hiding your emotions." He walked away when Bailey started to come up to us.

"Hey"

"Hi"

"Congrats, I um I didn't know you were doing research."

"Oh,yea I found Torres' old cartilage research and I worked with her to make it better."

"Ahh, well um I have to go, I'm working with Edwards and Sofia on Peds so.."

"Yea no go head."

My head was wondering all day. But a week or so later I was forced to go to Boston with my dad and grandma...and Bailey(and his mother). The entire plane ride was oh so quiet and just plain awkward. The award ceremony was in a huge hall that was so beautiful. My father and I sat up in the V.I.P boxes up at the top of the building.I had been going to these award shows since I was ten and always hated it, this year was no different. One could say I even had it more than usual. The ceremony was starting. Catherine was standing on the stage, the lights were shining off of her, everybody was looking towards her like usual, life of the party as always. She began saying something about how important this award was to her and the legacy it carried. But when she announced who won she said Bailey's name. Dr. Derek Bailey Grey-Shepherd.

He said his speech. It was humble but self centric.

"Wow, I don't even know what to say. This has been a dream of mine for so long. Seeing my mother and sister, and even watching videos of my grandmother, accepting this award, trying to suppress my jealousy. I've wanted to see this stage for myself for quite some time. I never thought that this would come true, but now that I'm here I'm more than proud to say the least. Proud of myself. And Thankful. For everyone. For pushing me to reach my goals. For believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Thank you for everything. Thank you to everyone." As he walked off the stage he got a standing ovation from everyone in the banquet hall down below. I was proud of him, of course I was, but I was still very mad, and probably even jealous like my father had said. On the way back to the hospital and Seattle they were all celebrating on the plane, I was sitting in the back, just looking out the window.

There, everyone was celebrating. Congratulating him. I just left. When I walked out the door he just watched me. Longingly.

Hours went by and it was almost midnight. I was home alone, Ellis and Leo were probably out getting drunk. I was in my bed trying to sleep but instead just laying there with my eyes wide open, looking at the ceiling. So when the doorbell rang, and I tried to ignore it, it kept ringing I had to go and get it.

It was Bailey. "Can we try again? Sarah broke up with me!"

He was standing outside my door with a radio above his head, one of those old school ones you see in the movies, playing Speak Now-Taylor Swift.

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