Hopelessly Devoted to You

You have to let me go

"You know how pretty you look in red and you also know I love that color but still you are not wearing it today may I know why?" I asked my pretty wife who was standing there with her magical smile.. A smile that can light up the whole world.. A smile that keeps me going.. "I am asking something Nandani, okay leave it just go and change okay.. And never wear white again, this color just makes me sad.."

I tried to coo her again but neither her smile faltered nor she went to change making me worried, why doesn't she listen me.. I tried giving her my best puppy dog eyes.. "You have to accept it Manik, you have to accept this color one day.. White is not a color to make you sad, but it will give you peace..." I don't know what she is talking about, I just want to see her in colors, all happy and joyous not clad in a white cloth all sad and gloomy.. Suddenly she stood up and started walking away from me..

"Where are you going Nandani?" I became restless but she just gave me that smile of hers and didn't stop at all.. "I have to go Manik, you have to let me go.." No please stop, tears welled up in my eyes but she didn't stop.. My Nandani didn't stopped for me, she just walked away and away while I kept calling her..

"Nandani....." I screamed on top of my voice.. Damnit.. The room was almost freezing but here I am sweating so bad in this temperature... "Manik, honey you okay.." My room burst open and all the Kapoor's came running in... God these people make me feel like I am a kid instead of a full grown Man.. "I am fine Mom.." I smiled in her embrace, rubbing off everyone's concern.. Who all were looking at me with worried face...

This wasn't the very first time.. I have got accustomed to such nightmares from quite a long and  so did my family.. I tried to make them understand but I know they love me enough to not be worried about me.. "Here Manik Bhai, have some water.." I smiled at Navya and took water that I badly need at that moment..

"Please you gyz go and sleep, I am totally fine.." I assured them all, who were still not ready to leave me alone.. "You sure Big Bro?" Cabir Asked worried and I just showed him thumbs up.. four of them one by one left my room and I fall back on my bed to again spend a sleepless night.. The nightmares are so often that I try my best to not be asleep and when sometimes I did, all this happen...

It's going to be 7 years in few months to that dreaded day of my life.. The day where I lost my everything, My wife, my life, My Nandani... When I got a call from Alya, I knew something bad has happened.. I was having those bad vibes that something was wrong.. I was calling Nandani and instead of her Alya picked up, I knew something was going.. I drove like a maniac to the address she gave me in order to find my Nandani.. But I never did.. I never found her that day or even till date..

Yeah Nandani is missing ever since, She fell down from that cliff and her body was never found.. Everyone believed She is dead but I knew she is here somewhere, she has to be.. If Manik is breathing that only means Nandani too is alive somewhere and I am sure that one day I will find her.. One day I would.... Alya told me everything along with Dhruv, I wanted to hate them, I wanted to punish them but that wasn't going to get me back my Nandani.. So I let them be.. Their guilt punished them for life time.. They blame themselves for her death every single day and  that was enough punishment...

"Morning Son.." Father greeted me at the breakfast where I have to be present reluctantly.. I hardly had an apatite but I don't want my family to be extra worried about me.. They are already loosing so much patience because of me.. The least I could do is, corporate with them some times atleast.. "Mamu..." And a smile broke into my lips at hearing Arvika's voice...  Arvika Thakur my three year old niece.. Mukti and Abhimanyu's baby girl and the only ray of happiness in my dark life...

"Big B.." Mukti hugged me and I took Arvika from her.. The girl was literally so cute, if Nandani would be here with us, maybe we would have our own kids by now.. The thought brought the pang in my heart but I avoided it by keeping a smile on my face for the sake of my family.. "Where is Abhimanyu?" I asked my sister while feeding my niece..

"As usual at office, he is such a workaholic just like you Big B, best friends for a reason I guess.." She complained and I smiled at her.. Mukti was happily married with Abhimanyu from past four years.. When they both told me about their love for each other, I was beyond happy.. They both deserve the happiness..

"Here are your cereals, and you are going to finish that bowl..." I rolled my eyes at Navya's bossiness.. Mukti and Abhi weren't the only one to get married that day.. Cabir and Navya tied the knot too and both the families were happy... Why not after whole three years of mourning finally there came a happiness in family.. Rishabh and Navya broke down after that accident and so did the whole family.. I tried to be strong enough for all of them.. But no one was able to fill up the void that Nandani left in our hearts..

They looked for her with me, Rishabh too was sure her sister is alive but, we tried all force that I could muster but couldn't find her.. It was like she just magically disappeared and soon everyone believed that she was no more, but how can they expect from me to believe the same.. Nandani promised a forever to me and I know she never breaks her promises... I asked them to show me her body and I will believe what they all say but it was never found.. Police wanted me to believe that wild animals took her away... Bullshit.. Nandani is alive and no matter how much more time I have to take, I am going to find her...

I will bring her back, cause she belongs to be here right beside me.. "Mamu..." Arvika was trying to take my attention and she finally succeeded.. She couldn't speak properly just broken sentences here and there but I understand her fully well.. She is the one little munchkin that's keeping me sane right now.. Come back Nandani, please come back... You have punished me enough, now please come to me.. It's not easy to wake up everyday and not see you beside me.. It's not easy to go to work and not find you there busy in work.. It's not easy to come back home everyday when I know you wouldn't be there waiting for me.. So come back Nandani, come back cause it's not easy at all....

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